Monday, August 10, 2009

Smile...though your heart is aching

I can barely see the computer screen through my tears as I type, so forgive me. I'm having official big-time, world-class mommy meltdown...It all started with me changing Cade into his 3rd outfit of the day (spit-up #1, poop leakage #2) and thinking "I'm going to miss this" as he grins at me from the changing table. I gotta give it to him, the kid is very grateful when you change his diaper and give him a good wipedown. It makes the impending load of laundry seem worth it.

Anyways, I know it's a waste of my last week of maternity leave summer to sit around and cry. I just don't know how to proceed. Go out and about with Cade and have some fun? Or hold him in a rocking chair and play at home?

I know I'm still a little teeny tiny bit excited for another school year (I've been excited about school since I was 4 and watched the big kids march off to kindergarten)...I've just got to mourn the 8 hours a day someone else gets to see that smile and hold those little hands and stroke his downy hair. I have a feeling come August 24th you'll find me crying into my bean bag chair with a brand new kindergartener. Both of us so scared, anxious, and a little bit excited about the road ahead of us.

1 comment:

  1. Oh honey, it broke my heart to read this, but you'll all adjust and you'll still get plenty of time with dear little Cade. Call me if you need a "shoulder" to cry on.


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