Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Sometimes, things go right

The stars aligned and I had a genius moment! I was the first mom at daycare in Cade's class to bring in a little surprise for the daycare "teachers" for teacher appreciation week. Since there are many other Super Moms in this class, I had to step it up and --- for once--- success!!! Nick and I teamed up and made the ladies super happy today with their gift bag of....drumroll please, Chili's chips & salsa, a 2 liter of Diet Coke, and cute little blue napkins, plates, and blue and lime green party cups. AND a super heartfelt thank you card, written on BOTH sides of the card, detailing just how appreciative I am that my son is still alive after 8 months their care. SCORE!!! Hell yes, as a teacher that would be JUST the jackpot I would look for. I know what teacher want, ladies. And it's called Starbucks cards, Diet Coke and chips, and a bottle of Jack. I'm 2 for 3. Gotta figure out how exactly to deliver on the 3rd wise man.

Now my master plan to be queen Super Mom for a week will be a true success if only the other Super Bitches don't find out about my humpday Cinco de Mayo teacher appreciation surprisearama and then show up tomorrow with a five course home cooked meal and $50 Neimans gift cards.

later bloggies.

Monday, May 3, 2010


Today I left my family chiropractor appt (lame or badass, you decide) and as Cade waved bye-bye to my mom and I got this kind of ashamed feeling. I don't even know that you would call it ashamed, but all of the sudden I felt all embarassed. I looked at her, and I thought "Really, mom? YOU let ME have a kid of my own?!"

I physically had to shake the thought off so I could buckle in Cade and drive home. But sometimes that happens to me, more so right after we brought him home from the hospital, but every now and then I question it all. It feels like I snuck into the motherhood club, the bouncer turned his back and I slipped under the velvet ropes. Not that I'm complaining, it's freaking fantastic--- but when will I stop looking over my shoulder? When I stop worrying that someone will figure out maybe I don't have all the necessary requirements and take Cade away from me?

Paranoia is unbecoming, so I won't harp too long. I guess sometimes I still feel like a sixth grader new to middle school. It was freaking yesterday I was arguing with my stupid jerkface science teacher about the difference between a white dwarf star and a red giant. Or don't I still need to get my advisor to approve my study abroad transfer credits? All of the sudden I'm a suburban housewife with a real live baby. hm. I just can't wrap my brain around it.

Maybe one day I'll get the confidence I want to rock it out as a mom. Until then, I'm the great pretender, just hanging out and loving every minute until I get that knock on the door that the jig is up.
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