Tuesday, April 28, 2009

little surprises

Being a mommy so far is going great. I'm constantly surprised by little things that hadn't occured to me while I was pregnant that I would enjoy.

1) Now when I go out I check out guys. Okay, so this isn't so different from BC Hilary, but now the guys I'm checking out are the under 2 yr set. I scan the outfit, the scan the baby's face and body and compare to my little man. Yep, Cade's cuter or Oooh, those plaid overalls would be adorable on Cade.

2) I've had my moments in my past where I obsessed about a guy (how hot he is, how much I love when he touches me, what our future together could possibly hold). I've got to apologize to the men I've lusted after/fantasized about/couldn't get out of my head. I thought I had it bad when I was 16, 18, and 22 years old. .....NOTHING compares to the obsessive powerful love I have for this kid. I literally dreamed about those blue eyes when I was pregnant and now that he's here and that face is real and right in front of me. I'm hooked, nothing can compare.

3) Diaper changing time. Surprisingly, I love it. Cade is so engaging staring at me, the conversations we have at the changing table...couldn't trade them for the world.

4) The peace and feeling that all is right in the world when Cade falls asleep on me after nursing. His face is so utterly content. You can forget that bad things happen in this world when you see that peaceful face, full tummy, sleepy baby.

5) The absolute joy that I get when Cade has dozed off and I'm staring at him and his little lips slowly curl into a smile that takes over his whole face. I try to capture it on camera but just can't ever get to it in time. It's the briefest moment but it's to die for. And on just a few occasions he has actually giggled, like he's having a funny dream. It's officially the best noise in the world. (2nd only to his very first cry when he was born)

6) How powerful this little person is over Nick and I. Both of us will admit that just thinking about him can bring us to tears. It's amazed me that Nick and I just look at each other and say "I love him so much" and we both will already be tearing up. It's an unreal experience.

I didn't plan to be surprised by any of these things or how poweful they would be. Of course I expected to love our baby and have fun, but I wasn't prepared for this kind of love. I feel like I'll wake up and it will all be a dream.

Enough of the sappy pap (high fidelity slang there). Ask me another day the frustrating details of new motherhood--there's plenty of those too, but today, let me be. I'm in love.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Izzy love

Cade and Izzy love each other. He will watch her and she will
watch him. If she hears him make a loud cry over the monitor she will look to me and then jump out of bed to go check on him. She's a very good big sister. After Cade and I get home she comes over to say hi to him as I get him out of the infant carrier. Then I have to carry Cade to the couch so Izzy can sniff him and give him a kiss. It's really sweet! And to all of you who said we'd neglect our dog after the baby came, not so my friends! We love Izzer more than ever and she's been so good to the baby.

When I was pregnant I told Nick that I couldn't imagine loving the baby as much as I love our dog. I know it's controversial, but I love them both equally! I'm sure that will change as soon as Cade can talk and say "Mommy"...but then it will change again once he gets older and starts talking back. All's fair in love 7 war, right? I am amazed at how fun he is and how expressive he is already. Just check out these emotions and tell me if they aren't appropriate for the situation, what are the chances it's all just gas? No way.

Check out the love!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

the nights of chuckie...

Of the eight nights we've had Cade at home, we've heard some very interesting sounds over the baby monitor. Sometimes we're not sure if what we're hearing is a fart or a cry, other times we giggle at the little baby hiccups. Last night at 2am we were awaken by a noise so disturbing we both clung to each other in terror.

Out of nowhere comes creepy merry-go-round-esque music and a little voice that said "Come play with me!" As I awoke with a pounding heart I open my eyes and I swear the whites of Nick's eyes could have lit up the room. I don't know which one of us whispered shakily, "What IS that?!" It was one of those moments when your first instinct is "I hope the baby is okay" quickly followed by instinct #2 which is "Honey, YOU go check that out!"

This has happened 2 other nights, so luckily we'd already ruled out that no, Chuckie himself has not been haunting our home. Instead, it's this precious little toy Nick's boss got us, the Sing & Learn Puppy. It's so strange, the first time this happened I was holding Cade in the kitchen in the middle of the night and heard it over the monitor from the living room. Nick and I both were like "Did you hear that? Where the hell did that come from?" I reassured myself that maybe it was our monitor picking up a neighbor's house.

The second time this happened Nick and I both jumped out of bed and ran to Cade's room, it was coming from the closet and we could see these red blinking lights. "F-ing puppy!" I haven't quite figured out why the damn toy only speaks between 1:00am and 3:00am. It was on the floor so I figured maybe the dog sniffed it out or it was set off by heavy footsteps. (Again for someone who just dropped 20 lbs, I don't know why this is just now happening) So puppy went up on the shelf.

When we heard "Come play with me! It's fun to learn!" last night I grabbed the toy, took it to the kitchen. Nick punched the toy. I (the smarter one) got out some scissors and tore into the box to get out the puppy. I couldn't free it fast enough to find the battery pack or off switch, whatever would end the creepyness.

Now we can rest easy with normal new parent worries...Is he breathing? Did he fall out of the crib? Was that noise a cry or a fart? Where can I get magic pills so husbands can breast-feed?

Friday, April 10, 2009

Sweet Baby Cade has arrived!

We have a son!!! Cade Andrew Lamb was born Tuesday, April 7th, 2009 at 8:30pm.  Tuesday morning we woke up early, drove to Presby and checked in to have a baby.  Dr. T induced me at 8:45am and I labored with contractions until about 2:30 when I got the epidural from the BEST anethesiologist in the world.  I thought I'd be freaked out, but she was so calm and cool and Nick was right there supporting me.  It took effect exactly by the 3rd contraction I felt after that, just like she said.  I couldn't feel my legs or anything from about my rib area down.  I had been dilated 2cm almost all day then all of the sudden I was at 9cm and then 10cm.   At around 6:30pm I was ready to push.  

The epidural made me so relaxed I was like "Will I feel pushing? Will this even hurt?"  hahaha, as IF I would be the first woman in the world not to feel the pain.  Through most of the pushing it felt just like pressure.  I thought I'd be done and it would just feel like a really tough workout.  Painful, but tolerable.   What felt like another hour and a half (but Nick told me was really only 15 minutes) I was working so hard trying to push when I couldn't feel anything and curling my body into a C.   My favorite parts were when the nurse told me to push harder.  Um hello, remember the epidural?  I have absolutely no control of my right leg, can't tell if I'm having a contraction or passing gas and you're telling me to pretty much wrap my legs around my head and push harder?!   

I started to panic that I wouldn't be able to get Cade out.  Nick kept telling me how I was doing such a good job.  At some point I told him to stop saying that because "Clearly I suck, he's not here yet!"  I begged anyone in the room to just pull out the baby for me.  They offered to use the vacuum (what I was originally SO opposed to) but I just wanted to see Cade so bad that I told them "Whatever will get him here!"  All of the sudden the dr and nurses suited up into super sterile gear.  I thought it was just vacuum gear, things started going really quickly and they were like "You're awesome! Yes, push like that!" I've never had a room full of people yelling and cheering so loudly for me. I was pushing and pushing with no breaks, just got on a high and then they said "His head is out, slow down, push less".   Um, wtf? Push less? I just got the hang of it, whattt?!!  Within seconds Cade was born and Nick was crying saying "You did it!" and all of the nurses were saying "Congratulations! Meet your son"  From that minute on my world was different.  

I just kept saying "I can't believe it, I can't believe it, I can't believe it! He's so beautiful, Nick look at him, I can't believe it. It's our baby!"  Nothing on earth could have prepared me for those feelings.  They cleaned him up and put him on my chest and we held him and kissed him.  As they were cleaning him up on the warmer I couldn't stop talking to him.  He looked right at me the whole time and one nurse said "He knows your voice".  It was miraculous.  Nick and I got our badges of honor, our hospital identification bracelets that match Cade's.  

The nurse let us have skin to skin contact and I was able to nurse Cade right away.  It was just like my dreams about him while I was pregnant.  It was the best feeling in the world and Cade fed right away like he knew just what to do.  We were made to fit together, he in my arms and his head just right there for me to kiss and Nick's arms just right around us.  

About an hour later our parents were allowed to come in the room and as soon as my mom came in and hugged me we both just sobbed and sobbed.  Nick's mom came in right behind her and we also just sobbed together.  Seeing our parents each get to hold Cade was so incredible, we are a blessed family.  This kid has no idea how loved he is and how amazing he is.  As my Uncle Todd says, he is heartbreakingly adorable.  We're in love!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

the freakshow

What I am hating about being 10 months pregnant...Mostly the behavior of strangers is so obnoxious, and they have no clue just how obnoxious they are.

1. Staring at my belly. Nope it's not a basketball under there. That's my child. Horrifying isn't it? No? Then why are you looking at me like that? Literally at a restaurant with the girls last night I had multiple tables of people gawk at me as I walk by (sorry my belly was in your face as you were eating your dinner, unfortunate table heights, no?). That's all well and good, I'm guilty of making horrified looks at your freakiness too. But to comment within my earshot? That's just tacky. I'm pretty sure I heard "Whoa...hahaha! Look at that!"

2. Not giving me ample room to pass, and yet at the same time giving me waaaay too much room too pass. Both are rude. Yes, I'd prefer you to get out of my way and give me the right of way as my balance and agility have taken a significant decline lately. But to take 4 giant steps back and hold out your arms for passerby? Unneccessary. I don't recall putting the "wide load" sign on my ass and turning on the warning beeps.

3. Older women starting polite convo about babies and then waxing on for-ev-er about how much this will be the best experience in my life and nothing is like it. It's uncomfortable for me to stare into your watery eyes as you reminisce about your precious little angel. My precious little angel is overdue and I'm desperate to meet him. Thanks for reminding me.

And.... it's not like I'm totally innocent sweet little prego. Nope. I'm aware that I'm kind of scary right now. I know my big belly about to pop makes you uncomfortable and I really do apologize for the obnoxious belly button (my hitchhiker Nick calls it). But mostly, you new moms with your week old babies need to beware. I'm so jealous I just might grab your baby out of its infant carrier and run away with it.

It just reminds me of all the little baby parts that I can't wait to see. Like, how could I forget how sweet little baby fingers are? They way they grab onto your finger for life. What??? I'd forgotten about that. I've been so busy daydreaming about Cade's little nose that I forgot that he will also have little tiny feet. How did I forget to daydream about baby feet? Another factor that goes into my newborn baby craze is that I want to hold them up to my stomach and guess about how big exactly Cade is. Ya know, find out just what I'm in for? I'd like to know. So..I'm aware that I'm not allowed to grab other people's children and examine them and run away with them, so I'd prefer to avoid people under 2 months old. I'm afraid that I prefer to deliver my baby at the proper hospital, and not so much at the prison hospital.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

spicy chicken and sour patch kids

And....I can't wait to meet my baby! I am kind of giddy, kind of nervous. Like when you meet a hot guy and you've just realized that yes, he is digging you. You're excited because you know want to kiss him, but you're not sure when he's going to make his move. Is this it?!

I can't stop smiling at the thought that Cade could come any minute. Last night I did some squats, chased the dog, and ate 2 types of spicy boneless buffalo wings from Chilis and a bag of Sour Patch kids. No dice, I made it thru another day of work today.

Today I went to Dr. Joe and got acupuncture to kick start labor the natural way. Got needles in the pinky toes and near my thumbs. Then Mom and I went to Pei Wei and I ordered Spicy Chicken. I was hungry so while I was waiting I ate a fortune cookie.

My fortune: Nothing is impossible to a willing heart. (Chinese word: watermelon)
Watermelon??!! Are you freaking kidding me?!

After I got home and ate my dinner my mouth was on FIRE! So I figured I could eat another fortune cookie, it won't really mess up my luck right? If not, at least I can read a fortune for Cade.

Cade's fortune: Success is a journey, not a destination. (Chinese word: orange)
Allright, this I like. Orange still cracks me up for reasons I can't blog...But the actual fortune itself seems approp. Way to go baby, lets get this journey started!
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