Wednesday, June 17, 2009

post-prego fashions

Man, if you asked me 3 months ago if I thought I'd have a HARDER time dressing myself at this point, I would have punched you. Turns out, post-prego fashions are NOT cute, NOT fun, and it's NOT exciting to be able to fit into old clothes. I've learned there is a difference betweeen "fitting in my old non-prego clothes" and "looking acceptable to go into public". Since baby, I've actually looked at myself in the mirror and said "Eh, that's good enough". Who the hell have I become?!! Since when did "good enough" mean an outfit was okay to wear out? In public??

It took me 3 times of wearing the pink dress/black bra combo to realize I look like utter garbage. If you have to convince yourself that your black bra that's peeking out the top of the dress looks like a cami, then you probably shouldn't wear it. [Edit..strike "peeking out" and insert "showing about 2.5 inches above top of dress"] And then you shouldn't find yourself constantly asking friends "Doesn't this look like a cami?"

Hindsight = 20/20. What must they have thought? Ummm...hello Captain Awkward! You're asking us when you're already downtown, 30 minutes from home. What the hell are you going to do if we say "No, bitch, that's CLEARLY a nursing bra?" Seriously, what the hell would you do? Remove the bra and risk milking yourself at your friend's bachelorette?" Ugh, I'm seriously horrified at my lack of judgement.

So I wore the dress out in public for the FINAL TIME (I swear) on a shopping date with my son and mother. I caught the back of myself in the mirror and realized not only does my bra show in the front (this time I thought I was "cool" b/c I looked like I was "layering"), but the f-ing bra shows in the BACK too! Ugggh! Tackola. So I put on my cardi --- my mom was SO grateful, you'd think I'd birthed another grandchild, and luckily that saved the look. I'm shocked she didn't make me buy another outfit as soon as we hit Nordstroms.

I made it home without getting kicked out of Stonebriar for being white trash (again, I tried another excuse "But Carrie Bradshaw shows HER bra!"....then I reminded myself that No, No she didn't show her NURSING bra EV-ER!). I turned to my honey for consolation that evening. My loving husband of 3 years (happy anniversary baby!) told me he wondered why I kept wearing that nightgown out anyways. *grooooan*

All that's left for me to ponder is....

-Why did he let me leave the house in what he thought was a nightgown/bra combo?
-Why do my friends still talk to me after I rocked this look at a bachelorette? A bachelorette! Oh God...I'm so so embarassed.
-Where the hell does one go to find sundresses with straps that are more "lasagna noodle" and less "spaghetti"?

Poor, poor Cade.... his mommy is already embrassing him in public. damn.

1 comment:

  1. Why haven't you posted a photo of you in "the dress"? We could all vote if it's acceptable. It was doable with the cardi but, without...not so much. I'm no fashion maven but even I know to take a look at the backside occasionally. one wants to hurt the feelings of a hormonal woman who has recently experienced childbirth.


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