I can barely see the computer screen through my tears as I type, so forgive me. I'm having official big-time, world-class mommy meltdown...It all started with me changing Cade into his 3rd outfit of the day (spit-up #1, poop leakage #2) and thinking "I'm going to miss this" as he grins at me from the changing table. I gotta give it to him, the kid is very grateful when you change his diaper and give him a good wipedown. It makes the impending load of laundry seem worth it.
Anyways, I know it's a waste of my last week of maternity leave summer to sit around and cry. I just don't know how to proceed. Go out and about with Cade and have some fun? Or hold him in a rocking chair and play at home?
I know I'm still a little teeny tiny bit excited for another school year (I've been excited about school since I was 4 and watched the big kids march off to kindergarten)...I've just got to mourn the 8 hours a day someone else gets to see that smile and hold those little hands and stroke his downy hair. I have a feeling come August 24th you'll find me crying into my bean bag chair with a brand new kindergartener. Both of us so scared, anxious, and a little bit excited about the road ahead of us.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Mama's Boy!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
lets make a deal
One of the many lessons I've learned about parenthood is that it makes you into the ultimate negotiator. I've gotten a taste of this, being a teacher, and constant negotiating my students try to suck me into...That's different, the trick there is to make them THINK you're negotiating with them, but really you're discretely bending them to your will. When you have a child of your own, you find that your marriage bed has turned into conference-room showdowns worthy of Donald Trump.
Step-by-step Parent Negotiating 101:
1. "Is that the baby?" Of course it's the baby. Your baby monitor is not malfunctioning... (howev in certain neighborhoods I've heard the question is "Is that OUR baby?") You start with this tactic hoping your spouse will leap from the bed and take care of your offspring. It's passive-aggressive, rarely works, and is basically used to simply wake your spouse and initiate negotiating sequence.
2. "I think it's your turn. I went last time." This maybe works 60% of the time. It really depends on how sleepy your spouse is. Can you convince them that you actually left your king-sized palatte of comfort to change a diaper or pop a binkie back in, when REALLY you haven't left bed all night? This line should only be used by the honest spouse. Should the lying spouse get away with this ploy, they should do penance by offering a massage or putting on the coffee without being asked.
3. "NO, NO you didn't, I did." Hopefully your child is simply just practicing talking and not wailing if you pull this line. For some reason we all get sucked into the argument stage of negotiations, and it's really just a waste of everyone's time. At this point one spouse, usually the female, will slug out of bed to check on the baby. The most advanced female will then use this seeming loss as a victory later when she pulls out the martyr card. If you're feeling patient, this is recommended.
4. "If you go check on the baby, I will ______." Before children, this blank might have been completed by a sexual favor. After children, not so much. Other things seem MUCH more valuable. In our house it is "I'll go get you Braums tomorrow", "I'll take care of him tomorrow", "I'll vacuum", etc.
5. When both parties are satisfied with their end of the bargain, when the price is JUST right, that's when the baby will get attention. If the spouse who agrees to check on the baby is VERY lucky the baby will have soothed himself back to sleep by this point. If the spouse who agreed to check on the baby actually has to do some work, their negotiations are now with a higher power. "Please let this only take a minute", "Please God, say he isn't hungry", "His diaper is wet, please let the mess only be in the diaper", etc.
This negotiating does make the marriage stronger. One would think "Oh, no I don't want to bargain with my spouse, that's not what marriage is all about." Nay, nay, friends. Knowing what your spouse's ultimate price is can be very valuable. You just gotta learn how to work it. Just remember, you can always get some sleep when they're old enough for slumber parties. (At which point you will have perfected your negotiating to convince the neighbors that it's THEIR turn!)
Step-by-step Parent Negotiating 101:
1. "Is that the baby?" Of course it's the baby. Your baby monitor is not malfunctioning... (howev in certain neighborhoods I've heard the question is "Is that OUR baby?") You start with this tactic hoping your spouse will leap from the bed and take care of your offspring. It's passive-aggressive, rarely works, and is basically used to simply wake your spouse and initiate negotiating sequence.
2. "I think it's your turn. I went last time." This maybe works 60% of the time. It really depends on how sleepy your spouse is. Can you convince them that you actually left your king-sized palatte of comfort to change a diaper or pop a binkie back in, when REALLY you haven't left bed all night? This line should only be used by the honest spouse. Should the lying spouse get away with this ploy, they should do penance by offering a massage or putting on the coffee without being asked.
3. "NO, NO you didn't, I did." Hopefully your child is simply just practicing talking and not wailing if you pull this line. For some reason we all get sucked into the argument stage of negotiations, and it's really just a waste of everyone's time. At this point one spouse, usually the female, will slug out of bed to check on the baby. The most advanced female will then use this seeming loss as a victory later when she pulls out the martyr card. If you're feeling patient, this is recommended.
4. "If you go check on the baby, I will ______." Before children, this blank might have been completed by a sexual favor. After children, not so much. Other things seem MUCH more valuable. In our house it is "I'll go get you Braums tomorrow", "I'll take care of him tomorrow", "I'll vacuum", etc.
5. When both parties are satisfied with their end of the bargain, when the price is JUST right, that's when the baby will get attention. If the spouse who agrees to check on the baby is VERY lucky the baby will have soothed himself back to sleep by this point. If the spouse who agreed to check on the baby actually has to do some work, their negotiations are now with a higher power. "Please let this only take a minute", "Please God, say he isn't hungry", "His diaper is wet, please let the mess only be in the diaper", etc.
This negotiating does make the marriage stronger. One would think "Oh, no I don't want to bargain with my spouse, that's not what marriage is all about." Nay, nay, friends. Knowing what your spouse's ultimate price is can be very valuable. You just gotta learn how to work it. Just remember, you can always get some sleep when they're old enough for slumber parties. (At which point you will have perfected your negotiating to convince the neighbors that it's THEIR turn!)
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Husker DOC band!
Daddy ordered Cade some Nebraska Cornhusker stickers. If you haven't met my husband, you STILL probably know that he's a huge Husker fan. No worries, it's already been decided that our children will be Aggies, but when it comes to making bets, your money better be on the Huskers! (I've learned the hard way... it's called "November Bikini Truck Wash")
Anyways, I mixed some football clear backed scrapbooking stickers from Hobby Lobby with the Husker logos to come up with football DOC band greatness.
It's not a carrot, damnit! It's a down and distance marker, even I (football dunce) know that! (um okay, i DID just had to ask for the "official" name)Anyways, I mixed some football clear backed scrapbooking stickers from Hobby Lobby with the Husker logos to come up with football DOC band greatness.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
whatev!
Random middle aged ladies at Dillards today...
- "How old is your baby? Let me guess? 2 months?" ....."4 months, noooo...you lie!"
- "Is that protective headgear?" (judgingly)
- I explain that it's to correct a flat spot on his head, called plagiocephaly, more common due to anti-SIDS back to sleep campaign, they said "Oh, OUR kids didn't have that, they're fine." To which I kindly respond, "Actually, it surprised me too to learn that there are many medical reasons one should correct plagiocephaly, such as malformation of sinus and ear canals." They try to tell me the "headgear" is not necessary, I block out this info since I don't see any indication that they are medical professionals.
- One of them pats me on the back of my hip, almost like a little love tap on my butt..."Good luck with him! Enjoy him before he gets big and starts to talk back." Her friend," Oh yeah, then you'll really need good luck!" To which I smile and give obligatory chuckle and I push my baby away from these over-helpful Helens.
- They continue to loudly give motherhood warnings....at this point it's a TAD obnoxious to me as I'm CLEARLY needing to devote my full attention the clearance shoe sale with take an additional 40% off. (Dillard's ladies, take yourselves there!)
It wasn't totally an annoying experience, just strange. I do appreciate the other 4 strangers who all commented on how awesomely precious Cade's blue glitter stars are on his helmet. ... . . Too bad Daddy decided to gank it up with a red "Huskers" sticker.
(Mommy will need to remove stars and convert DOC band decor to full football theme in the morning, Mommy thinks mixing themes is grossly faux pas, and unacceptable on her little angel baby.)
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Confessions of a new mom
I'm feeling lame again, so here are my confessions.
1. Apparently I have forgotten about zippers. 9 months in prego panel/faux waist pants have totally erased 23 years of zipper pant experience. (Okay, not so much 9 months, as I was that girl who stupidly REFUSED to surrender to maternity clothes...um well into second trimester I kicked myself in the ass when I realized how misguided I was. And when my OB told me to stop suffocating my fetus and to bench the Rock N Republics) Anyways, I've been out in public too many times when I've realized oops XYZ, the gates are open, gone fly fishing, airing the little lady. To make matters more humiliating, about 9 out of 10 times someone has had to tell me. I've been at dinner, the mall, the Autism conference with my pants undone.
2. The zipper dilemma doesn't end at my fly. Yesterday I was at the mall with my mom and Cade, feeling way cute in my short plaid dress (v. Taylor Swift, ruffles + plaid = rockin'). I'm in a store reaching for some designer hair product and my mom mumbles, laughs and zips me up. Turns out the dress had a side zipper from the armpit down to the waist. My left side (bra, ribs, love handle) was totally exposed. wtf? I have no explanation.
3. As I mentioned earlier, I was so anti-maternity clothes my first trimester. Now I can't get enough. Of course I'd love to be able to wear my same little cotton tees, but they're just not quite right yet. So I've been buying more in bigger sizes (mostly due to these HUGE nursing boobs, also for the remainder of my kangaroo pouch that refuses to shrink away. Rascally last 8 pounds, grr) On my weekly spree to Target I notice good ol' Liz Lange has some way cute shirts out for summer. So yes, I bought one. It fits kind of cute, kind of awkward. Oh well, can never have too many sleep shirts, right?
4. I'm obsessed with my baby. If I weren't his mother I might be arrested for the amount of time I spend obsessing about him. I carry around my camera even when he's not around so I can show off pics. The nail ladies today asked about him, bam! here are my favorite 16 pics ladies, you like? One lady asked "How is your baby?" My response: He's holding up his head, rolling over, can sit supported in his Bumbo, doing great with tummy time, doing this cute thing with his tongue... Obnoxious. Even more shameful, Nick will come home from work and I'll be on the laptop looking at pics of Cade on Picasa. THE KID IS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME! And here I am, looking at his image on the computer. It's sick. I'm working on it.
5. I know nothing of the penis. Nothing. My parents told me not to whore around in college, but I'm thinking maybe I should have so I would have enough reference points to know what is normal. Diaper changes and bath time sometimes leave me a little worried. The penis likes to change appearance from day to day, hour to hour, I've found. A little tepid bath water can confuse a mommy. Gonna have to make this area Daddy Duty, I just can't be expected to deal with this. Nick thinks it's weird to have a man-to-man penis check with his son. I told him I'd be happy to take the job, but if we have a little girl one day that means he has to explain tampons.
Gotta do wardrobe checks and gather props for tomorrow's first family portrait day. Psycho mommy has been so busy ironing her own wardrobe she can't locate baby's little white polo.
1. Apparently I have forgotten about zippers. 9 months in prego panel/faux waist pants have totally erased 23 years of zipper pant experience. (Okay, not so much 9 months, as I was that girl who stupidly REFUSED to surrender to maternity clothes...um well into second trimester I kicked myself in the ass when I realized how misguided I was. And when my OB told me to stop suffocating my fetus and to bench the Rock N Republics) Anyways, I've been out in public too many times when I've realized oops XYZ, the gates are open, gone fly fishing, airing the little lady. To make matters more humiliating, about 9 out of 10 times someone has had to tell me. I've been at dinner, the mall, the Autism conference with my pants undone.
2. The zipper dilemma doesn't end at my fly. Yesterday I was at the mall with my mom and Cade, feeling way cute in my short plaid dress (v. Taylor Swift, ruffles + plaid = rockin'). I'm in a store reaching for some designer hair product and my mom mumbles, laughs and zips me up. Turns out the dress had a side zipper from the armpit down to the waist. My left side (bra, ribs, love handle) was totally exposed. wtf? I have no explanation.
3. As I mentioned earlier, I was so anti-maternity clothes my first trimester. Now I can't get enough. Of course I'd love to be able to wear my same little cotton tees, but they're just not quite right yet. So I've been buying more in bigger sizes (mostly due to these HUGE nursing boobs, also for the remainder of my kangaroo pouch that refuses to shrink away. Rascally last 8 pounds, grr) On my weekly spree to Target I notice good ol' Liz Lange has some way cute shirts out for summer. So yes, I bought one. It fits kind of cute, kind of awkward. Oh well, can never have too many sleep shirts, right?
4. I'm obsessed with my baby. If I weren't his mother I might be arrested for the amount of time I spend obsessing about him. I carry around my camera even when he's not around so I can show off pics. The nail ladies today asked about him, bam! here are my favorite 16 pics ladies, you like? One lady asked "How is your baby?" My response: He's holding up his head, rolling over, can sit supported in his Bumbo, doing great with tummy time, doing this cute thing with his tongue... Obnoxious. Even more shameful, Nick will come home from work and I'll be on the laptop looking at pics of Cade on Picasa. THE KID IS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME! And here I am, looking at his image on the computer. It's sick. I'm working on it.
5. I know nothing of the penis. Nothing. My parents told me not to whore around in college, but I'm thinking maybe I should have so I would have enough reference points to know what is normal. Diaper changes and bath time sometimes leave me a little worried. The penis likes to change appearance from day to day, hour to hour, I've found. A little tepid bath water can confuse a mommy. Gonna have to make this area Daddy Duty, I just can't be expected to deal with this. Nick thinks it's weird to have a man-to-man penis check with his son. I told him I'd be happy to take the job, but if we have a little girl one day that means he has to explain tampons.
Gotta do wardrobe checks and gather props for tomorrow's first family portrait day. Psycho mommy has been so busy ironing her own wardrobe she can't locate baby's little white polo.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
DOC band date!
Yesterday was awesome! Cade and I went to Northpark Mall (our favorite!) to have a lunch and stroller date with our friend Amy and her gorgeous baby girl, Audrey. It was so fun to catch up and chat about everything from marriage, to pregnancy, to DOC bands. I'm pretty sure other parents of infants want to know what secret they're missing out on with the helmets. The kids just looked so precious together. If only Cade had stayed awake for more than 5 minutes to enjoy his first date! Typical guy, making the girl do all the work.
Cade wanted to share his pink and purple star stickers with Audrey. (Going to have to work on those date social skills, Cade! Hello negative body language.)
Cade had a fun night going out with Mommy & Crystal to Mi Cocina Legacy Village in the evening. I put on my heels and tried to look pretty as I pushed his stroller in to the fabulous west Plano crowd. Definitely got some strange looks. Howev, I'm not sure if it's b/c of the DOC band or because I had my stroller in the bar area as we waited for our table. Thankfully people moved and we got to sit in the proper lobby. I did decide not to push my stroller up to the bar to get my Corona Light while we waited. I thought it would be funny, but the popped-collar douchebags prob wouldn't want me taking up so much bar space with my Chicco travel system. Bygones. I will say that the stroller's cup holders did come in handy so I had a mini-table for my Corona as we waited for our table to be ready. (white trash?? naaah, not when you've got your bling heels on!)
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Can I get a what what!
Rockin' his stars, little rockstar!
I used clear backed scrapbooking stickers...never a fan of commitment, I know...
but it gives me flexibility to coordinate with his outfits.
Success!!! First time in the Bumbo today, all by himself! Could I be any prouder?
Why yes, yes I can be prouder... I was filling out his baby milestones calendar, supervising some tummy time whilst on the phone with a friend...and little man has pushed/crawled himself off of his lambie playmat. Fantastic developments today, buddy! Tuesday, July 21, 2009
We got the band today!
Today was our big day! We went to Cranial Tech and met our clinician and got the DOC band. I knew it would be lightweight, hello---it's a helmet for a baby!-- but I was so surprised at just how light it is. It feels like you're holding an egg. Literally my car keys outweigh it. I really like our clinician, he was so friendly and his own daughter had to wear a DOC band too. He answered all my questions and made me feel completely at ease and was so baby-friendly and sweet with Cade.
Cade didn't even notice he had the band on. He was a wee bit sweaty...okay, the kid's hair was totally wet when we took it off after just 10 minutes, but whatev. (No, he's not completely bald, but thanks for thinking it, jerkface!) Um, I'm totally in mommy advocate mode. I just HOPE some stranger makes a rude comment about my baby. I'm kind of excited about getting the chance to go off on them. Hey-- it's the special ed teacher in me. Always an advocate, but at school I have to keep it profesh. And usually the jerks making comments are 8 years old, so that puts the brakes on the whole "going off on their punk ass" thing.
Anyways, proof that Cade's personality has not been affected from 3 hours in the DOC band.
Izzy, however, is pretty protective of her little brother and this strange white plastic taking over his head. She would not leave his side tonight as he tried to get in some play time. Sniffing his whole head, kissing his head, cheeks, hands, toes... It was presh. She circled him all night: during feeding, playtime, cuddle time, and during our bedtime routine. I'm loving her maternal instincts, (about that--- sorry we got you fixed Izzer)! I'm so proud of you, sweet sweet fluffernut!
I did stop off at Hobby Lobby and invest in $30 worth of stickers and Modge Podge. Will keep you posted on how the decor goes. I don't want to crap it up, but just can't live with the plain white institutional look. You crafty Marthas out there, feel free to send me your ideas!
Cade didn't even notice he had the band on. He was a wee bit sweaty...okay, the kid's hair was totally wet when we took it off after just 10 minutes, but whatev. (No, he's not completely bald, but thanks for thinking it, jerkface!) Um, I'm totally in mommy advocate mode. I just HOPE some stranger makes a rude comment about my baby. I'm kind of excited about getting the chance to go off on them. Hey-- it's the special ed teacher in me. Always an advocate, but at school I have to keep it profesh. And usually the jerks making comments are 8 years old, so that puts the brakes on the whole "going off on their punk ass" thing.
Anyways, proof that Cade's personality has not been affected from 3 hours in the DOC band.
Izzy, however, is pretty protective of her little brother and this strange white plastic taking over his head. She would not leave his side tonight as he tried to get in some play time. Sniffing his whole head, kissing his head, cheeks, hands, toes... It was presh. She circled him all night: during feeding, playtime, cuddle time, and during our bedtime routine. I'm loving her maternal instincts, (about that--- sorry we got you fixed Izzer)! I'm so proud of you, sweet sweet fluffernut!
I did stop off at Hobby Lobby and invest in $30 worth of stickers and Modge Podge. Will keep you posted on how the decor goes. I don't want to crap it up, but just can't live with the plain white institutional look. You crafty Marthas out there, feel free to send me your ideas!
Friday, July 17, 2009
Mix Tape
I'm clearly in love. You know when you're infatuated with someone when they consume your every thought, every breath you take is for them, and when you want to make them a mix tape. (No, I'm not actually talking cassettes here, but mix tape is what it is, mix CD just doesn't sound the same or give it that innocent '80s appeal). If you don't know what I'm talking about, get thee to Blockbuster and rent High Fidelity. It's Nick & I's movie. I even watched it while in labor, and it was when I discovered the greatness of Jack Black AND was at the height of my crush with John Cusak. Go see it. Great little rom com.
1. Tim McGraw - It's your love - Sang this to him as his first lullaby his first night home from the hospital. Nick and I danced and cried by his crib and said "I can't believe we did it!"
2. Kenny Chesney - You Save Me - I love me some Kenny. I loved this song when were first talking about trying for a baby. It's for both my boys.
3. Darius Rucker - It Won't Be like this for long
- I first heard this song on my first solo outing with Cade, driving to Target. Cried all the way there, horomonal nightmare that I was. But I have to listen to it, and I love it because I can't take one second with him for granted.
4. - Feels like home to me - Nick put this on a mix tape for me when we were dating.
5. Aerosmith - Don't wanna miss a thing - I heard this song in the car right after the dr appointment where we heard Cade's heartbeat for the first time. The part of the song "Lying close to you, Feeling your heart beating, And I'm wondering what you're dreaming, Wondering if it's me you're seeing" was playing at that moment. I felt so connected to my baby, it was an awesome moment.
6. Rascal Flatts - My Wish - I wouldn't be a good mom if I didn't identify with this song. Reminds me of my mother in law, she's such a good mom.
7. Trace Adkins - You're Gonna miss this.
8. Elton John - Blessed - Nick and I danced to this as our last song at our wedding. Back then it symbolized the next step in our lives, starting our family. Now we're making that dream come true. (God, I'm a HUGE sap. HUGE)
9. Plain White Tees - 1, 2, 3, 4 - During early morning and middle of the night feedings I would watch this on VH1, it felt meant to be. Those quiet times when it felt like only the 2 of us were awake in this world was such a bonding moment... just me and Cade, and this sweet song.
10. Steve Holy - Good Morning Beautiful - Another song I heard when Cade and I were on one of our first outings together. I was grieving for my grandmother, this song came on, and I realized that I had a beautiful boy and a beautiful reason to keep on and appreciate life. Every day waking up to him is a beautiful day.
In my mind Cade will take these songs with him on his first campout, to college, and maybe we'll dance to one of them at his wedding one day. Just so long as he knows that his mommy loves him. Lesson: You're never too old to make a mix tape.
To quote Rob (John Cusak's character): Now, the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many do's and don'ts. First of all you're using someone else's poetry to express how you feel. This is a delicate thing.
1. Tim McGraw - It's your love - Sang this to him as his first lullaby his first night home from the hospital. Nick and I danced and cried by his crib and said "I can't believe we did it!"
2. Kenny Chesney - You Save Me - I love me some Kenny. I loved this song when were first talking about trying for a baby. It's for both my boys.
3. Darius Rucker - It Won't Be like this for long
- I first heard this song on my first solo outing with Cade, driving to Target. Cried all the way there, horomonal nightmare that I was. But I have to listen to it, and I love it because I can't take one second with him for granted. 4. - Feels like home to me - Nick put this on a mix tape for me when we were dating.
5. Aerosmith - Don't wanna miss a thing - I heard this song in the car right after the dr appointment where we heard Cade's heartbeat for the first time. The part of the song "Lying close to you, Feeling your heart beating, And I'm wondering what you're dreaming, Wondering if it's me you're seeing" was playing at that moment. I felt so connected to my baby, it was an awesome moment.
6. Rascal Flatts - My Wish - I wouldn't be a good mom if I didn't identify with this song. Reminds me of my mother in law, she's such a good mom.
7. Trace Adkins - You're Gonna miss this.
8. Elton John - Blessed - Nick and I danced to this as our last song at our wedding. Back then it symbolized the next step in our lives, starting our family. Now we're making that dream come true. (God, I'm a HUGE sap. HUGE)
9. Plain White Tees - 1, 2, 3, 4 - During early morning and middle of the night feedings I would watch this on VH1, it felt meant to be. Those quiet times when it felt like only the 2 of us were awake in this world was such a bonding moment... just me and Cade, and this sweet song.
10. Steve Holy - Good Morning Beautiful - Another song I heard when Cade and I were on one of our first outings together. I was grieving for my grandmother, this song came on, and I realized that I had a beautiful boy and a beautiful reason to keep on and appreciate life. Every day waking up to him is a beautiful day.
In my mind Cade will take these songs with him on his first campout, to college, and maybe we'll dance to one of them at his wedding one day. Just so long as he knows that his mommy loves him. Lesson: You're never too old to make a mix tape.
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