Tuesday, September 27, 2011

You know you're a mommy when...

You know you're a mommy when you wake up at 6:15 and you realize usually your newborn wakes between 5:00-5:30 for a morning feeding. At first you fist pump in bed, nearly clocking your peacefully slumbering spouse, thing maybe today is the day we get back on track towards STTN*. Then you panic, a knot the size of a golf ball forms in your throat and you choke back tears..... What if she's not breathing? SIDS and cancer, my two biggest mortal enemies in this world. When this panic sets in I have one of two reactions: leap from bed, knocking the dog on the floor and Jackie Joyner Kersee my way to the crib OR lay paralyzed, terrified to go check and place my hand on her chest to see if she's breathing. I wanted to make the hubs go check for me, that's how scared I was...but he doesn't need to depths of my crazy.

Thankfully I started to hear sweet coos coming through the baby monitor so I brushed my teeth (infants don't deserve to face the morning dragon, their little bodies can't handle that) and pulled my hair into a knot and went to get my princess. My. God. You should have seen the sweet smile and silent little laugh she does where she pushes her chin down and you see like 3 more little baby chins below that gummy smile. On anyone else that smile would be gross, but on her it's my heaven.

Cadester was already up and graced us with a twenty minute morning cuddle before he declared "sunny day OUT side!", which is our cue to turn on Mickey Mouse and brew the coffee. So when hubs had to leave for at the same time Devyn and Cade needed to be fed, I knew I'd be in for morning suckage. (which, for those of you who don't know, is defined as two children needing different things from one parent at once). I wasn't sure what would happen, but I decided to nurse Devyn first. I was peacefully settled in the rocker with her on my Boppy pillow, we had just gotten comfy when Cade comes in and stands in the corner of her room. And stares. At us. Now I'm a gambler, I've decided he will not have memories of Mommy Milk time when he's grown, but for one hot minute I thought he was on to me. Then he grabbed a handful of diaper and said "poo poo pants, Mommy". I didn't smell anything, so I said "do you need to go potty?" He got so excited and said "yes, Mommy! Potty, Mommy!". So he runs to the bathroom, I look at Devyn and we take our show on the road. We perch on the side of the tub while Cade tries the potty. After 3 seconds of trying he declares, "No like this." and pops his naked bottom off... Um, okay.so Devyn and I not so gracefully follow him.

I not so brilliantly ask him if he wants to wear his monster truck big brother underpants. I figured it would be easier to continue to nurse Devyn and help Cade into underpants than a diaper. Let's just say that was a disaster. Cade tried so hard but laid flat naked on the floor with the underpants around his ankles and he refused to try to use his hands to pull them up. I was cheering him on, he was saying "Too hard.". Uggggggh... Then I say "you can do it. Use your hands and pull." (still nursing the baby this whole time). He kicks off the underpants and starts to cry.

You know you're a mommy when you are nursing your infant and your crying naked toddler climbs on your lap for a hug. You feel like a failure because you wanted to nurse and potty train at the same time....idiot!! I felt like shit, he brought me a diaper but I wasn't going to make Devyn stop and start nursing AGAIN, so I told him I'd help him after mommy milk time. I told him he could go back to bed and check to see if Pirates were on tv. The rest of my nursing time (which was supposed to be peaceful) was me praying that the naked bottom boy didn't pee in my bed.

Thankfully Devyn was fed with no spitting up and Cade forgave me and kept my bed dry.

(sleeping thru the night).

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