Wednesday, September 14, 2011

2 a.m.

My favorite time of the day is now smack in the middle of the night. We have SORT OF gotten a "sleep schedule" so now I can SORT OF predict the favorite time.

Side note: notice how it only took EIGHT DAMN WEEKS to establish something resembling a normal life? Notice how reluctant I was back there in the intro paragraph to use absolutes lest I jinx my "sort of schedule". You see, infants love you to fly by the seat of your pants. Hand over the keys, Momma, Baby is driving! Cross your fingers and hold your breath... I want this to stick. Um, okay, unless said infant decides to STTN, then that can stick. (what the F is "STTN", you ask? It's the holy grail, motha! Sleep Through The Night. Defined as 6-7 consecutive hours of sleepage for the Momma. Holy grail, lovers!)

Back to the topic at hand....2 a.m. is my fave time. I've just gotten five hours of consecutive sleep and so when Devyn cries, my aching chest longing to be relieved I am more than happy to cuddle her and nurse her in the most fab rocker glider of all time. A. It's pink B. It reclines. Your rocker can go suck it. So I nurse her, check Pinterest, play Words with's bliss. I dream of her future and I get so excited for all the little things. Her first dance class. Putting her hair into pigtails the first time.

Seeing her sweet sleepy face all milk drunk I get super high on love. It's unreal. Her face is just so precious and it takes me back to my time when Cade was an infant and I'm in heaven. I gently kiss her head, say another prayer for her, and lay her back down in her bed. then I tiptoe into Cade's Room and see him sleeping soundly, occasionally talking or whimpering in his sleep. My God, how can I possibly love these two so much? I whisper affirmations in his ear, smell his hair (I'm creepy like that), and kiss his forehead. I go back into Devyn's room, kiss her again, and then tiptoe back down the hall. Praying to any God that will listen that they sleep 3 more hours. As I crawl in bed I lean over and kiss Nick and tell him I love him. Hell, I even grab the dog and cuddle her tight to my chest and tell her I love her too. Everyone in the house is perfect at 2 a.m. I always hope Nick will wake up so we can talk about all the ways I love the kids (never gets old, I adore being able to say "the kids"). He never wakes up enough. He mutters something that sounds close enough to "love you" that I curl up in the duvet and fall asleep.

I don't know what I did to deserve this life, but I'm loving it. Absolutely nothing goes unappreciated these days. Living full of gratitude is the light.

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