Friday, June 25, 2010

little reminders

One of the perks of motherhood is finding yourself equipped with totally unnecessary baby items at unexpected moments... It makes me so proud and giddy to be at a wedding reapplying my lip gloss in the ladies room and pull out a binky. It's so exhilirating to do a little shrug of the shoulders and smile at the lady next to me. Like Yes world, I'm a mother. Some little gorgeous being loves me and needs me and I'm his whole world. Yep, all I need to do in this life is go home to him and feel those soft fingers grab my neck and hair and pull me in tight. But I don't. Say that. The shrugging and big beaming smile as I look at that sweet little binks warms me every time.

I was starting a big presentation at work and as I pulled some notes out of my bag also pulled out a baby sock. Kinda bizarre, because Cade was 13 months at the time and it was SO an infant sock that I had in my hand at that moment. And in the middle of my intro, I stopped and did the sappy beam at the tiny little blue socklet in my hand. It felt like a 10 minute little coffee break, just looking at that sock and thinking of my baby. I'm hoping in hindsight it was just a few seconds, but I felt proud. The knowing chuckle of my coworkers was also a little reinforcing to this, I'm sure, obnoxious habit of mine of finding Cade artifacts and getting sap face.

So I was a little surprised when I was digging for my badge going into summer school this week and pulled out baby nail clippers instead. Briefly I thought "Ah-ha! Manicure day at summer school! Yesss!" but decided against it.... Side note: why must all special ed students have either creepy long fingernails or grossly chewed to the root nails? Special ed manicures aren't too much of a bad idea.

Anyways, I ditched the idea since I don't want to get sued for clipping Junior's claws, and I sappily smiled and tucked the baby nail clippers away. (Safely tucked away, that is. I had to go to two Targets and two grocery stores and one Babies R Us to find these perfect replacement nail clippers.) As much as I didn't want to be at summer school or go to work some days, it's finding the Cade artifacts that makes me appreciate my mommy-ness so much. Maybe absence makes the heart grow fonder and the mommy grow crazier in her baby love habits. It's worth it, they took my shame card at the hospital last year. So, warning to family and friends, the sap face will live on. Deal.

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