Tuesday, September 4, 2012

No Chocy Milk at Bedtime...

Sometimes as a Momma, you have to find a way to prove your point. You have to really get down on your child's level and TEACH them about life. It's the best thing ever when you teach them something new. I get so damn proud of myself. Howevs, it's not always easy. You want your kid to just take your word for things "because Mommy said so".  I haven't found that my three  year old responds to that kind of logic. For example, my beef o' the summer -- trying to break Cade of the habit of him  insisting on having juice (watered down V8 Fusion y'all!) or chocolate milk (Vitamin D milk topped off with Silk Dark Chocolate Almond Milk) in his cup when he goes to bed. Anything but water in the cup drives me freaking nuts, but he tricks Daddy into giving him some juice or milk. And yeah, sometimes I'm too lazy to fight it so I sneak some in his cup just so he'll go to bed.

First step:  I had lots of conversations with Cade about brushing his teeth, even making up songs about keeping them white and clean. (To the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat "brush, brush, brush your teeth keep them nice and clean. Always brush those germs away if you know what I mean".  (weak songwriting skills, right?)  Fail. He knows he should brush, but he didn't understand that what he eats and drinks can make his teeth yucky. All he's ever known are precious little pearly whites. So I had to prove it.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. No?  So I enlisted the help of good ol' Google Images. I just typed in "rotten teeth" and got thousands of pics to show my son what happens to little boys who drink chocolate milk at bedtime.

Here are a few highlights, in case you are curious.
      

So at this point as he scrolls through my iPad's Google results, I'm ho.rri.fied. I gag, I run my tongue over my own teeth to make sure my own are in order, and I nearly vom everywhere. I've never seen so much foulness in one place. When I was done swallowing down a mouthful of bile, I remembered to check for my kid's reaction.

My three year old was FASCINATED. I've never seen him go speechless. His face contorted into the perfect picture of utter disgust. Mission accomplished!  I quickly shut it off, and fearing bad mommy karma, night terrors, and what if my iPad breaks and these nasty pics get burned permanently onto the screen... I dunno, I panicked. I shut it down.

I came to my senses, mentally kicked myself, then realized it was Damage Control Time.  I had to find something more positive to leave as his last memory of the lesson.  I hopped on YouTube and found Elmo singing a brush your teeth song.  Much, much better. Redemption. Please God, let me be redeemed. I'm certain Purgatory is being trapped by those rotten teeth people dancing to  Godsmack. Ugh.



So, did this lesson work? Absolutely.
Did anyone have nightmares? Miraculously? No! *knocking on wood so I don't have creeptastic nightmares myself tonight*

Go ahead and cast your vote for me for Mom Of the Year.
In hindsight, wtf was I thinking?  Howevs, my regrets are short lived because homeboy now INSISTS on water in his nightly sippy and corrects Daddy when he forgets. (hehe, bonus!)

Anyone had any similar Winners of Mommy Lessons? I'd love to hear them!

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