Mommy Blues

I've got a bad case of the mommy blues. I've been trying to deny it, but little man is turning one soon and I just might die. I can't imagine that I have a one year old. How did time go by so fast?! (probably all those days hoping he rolls over, cuts his first tooth, crawls were NOT smart) Now I just want to slow down, take our time and enjoy just where we are in this moment. This almost walking, almost talking moment. Awesome, he can babble "Mama" and give a super tight hug where he grabs my hair and pulls me in tight, cheek-to-cheek. Pause. That right there. Lets just stay in this moment forever.

So, about as much I didn't want to buy my first pair of maternity pants, I don't want buy my first pair of 12 month baby pj's. I cried as I opened that trash bag and put my favorite little 6-9 month outfits inside. I know it had to be done, he can't go to school in pants that look okay when he's lying on his changing table, but as soon as he crawls they become "baby capris" (no kidding, that's what the daycare ladies called them!) Also, Daddy doesn't get that I just can't bring myself to put away the precious little socks that he wore home from the hospital. Daddy thinks that these socks are still okay for wearing. **busted, love ya honey!**

Anyways, I took him out for a shopping spree with Grammie. As I strolled him around Macy's I teared up again when I realized this was the Macy's Mom and I came to the day after I found out he was going to be a boy. Not getting to buy girl stuff was hard then. Today, not getting to buy the newborn clothes was hard. Today, the tough realization that 12 month clothes are NOT in the "infant section" was really hard. My little man is just a BA-Beeee, he doesn't need to be shopping with those walking snotting 18 month olds!! Oh, and the price jump when your age can now be measured in years is IN-SANE. 9 month old jeans = $15, 12 month old jeans = $30. And then we stopped by to get his feet sized for shoes. My baby is a size 5!!! A SIZE 5!!! I die. His shoe options included laces for god sakes. What's next, a jock strap?! How did he get so old? I die. But I managed to put him in velcros first...

Little Man's Winter

Even though our little man is growing up (standing on his own -- no hands! and walking farther and farther with support) I love this pic because it shows just how small he really is. I have to like him being small because in two months, we're hitting 12 months old! Eeek, a year!

So this last month, it has been hard to blog. Cade woke up two weeks ago with 2 upper teeth cut through, RSV, and double ear infections (from the congestion). I enjoyed two days off work getting to be in full mommy mode and taking care of him. Although my heart broke to see him feeling crummy, I did enjoy him just wanting to be held by mommy. And both grandmas and a grandaddy were quick to offer a day off their work to watch him the following week. He had one day back at daycare then we got a snow day and got more mommy time! By that time he felt GREAT and was back to power-crawling through the house exploring every nook and kranny.

I did take him outside for a minute to snag some snow pics. (note I put the sick baby on the blanket, not direct snow...that makes up for not owning baby mittens, right? I mean it's Texas damnit, where do you find baby mittens?) Yes, since then I have realized that socks would have done the trick, whatev.

He tried to catch a snowflake in his mouth, it was pretty cute, I could not keep the kid away from the windows. This was fine seeing as though I was also amazed at the foot of snow that fell! I should have put on shoes the following morning after this pic to capture the beauty of the thick blanket of snow, but I snuggled my man instead.

So this week we went back to daycare only to get kicked out on Friday afternoon for a mild case of the pinkeye. Freaking amazing how that pinkeye just manifests in a matter of hours, but after a trip to the dr they confirmed conjunctivitis AND a cold. Arrgh, so THIS is what they mean by daycare babies getting sick. I'm still hoping this adds up to immune system of steel by the time we're 3. How do I manage to still feel guilty about leaving work? That part sucks, I won't lie. As soon as I'm home I'm obviously happy to be there, but my soul is just torn between my school babies and my baby baby.

Enough of the struggles of the working mom. Okay, actually one more struggle to vent about. Stupid awesome mommies at daycare. I try so hard to be the perf mom and have it together (part my own fear of CPS and part my competitive spirit to be SUPERMOM)....not this week. So one mom found Graco's genius motorized aspirator that plays 12 different tunes. Cade doesn't so much like aspirators, so the 3 seconds it takes to suck 1/4 tsp of snot from each nostril is well worth the $20 power nose sucker. So, the 12 tunes...I can't quite picture other babies getting calm and entranced by the lullabies, cheerful melodies, and nursery rhyme mix and calmly stay still so their mommies can go to town on their noses. The device does have a button so you can scroll thru tunes to find the one that will stop your baby from thrashing like a Gremlin BUT it lacks an "off music" button. wtf, right? I'll experiment more with it, but so far I likey. Very satisfying to see the snot resevoir fill up.

Here's hoping this is the last of his illnesses for his first year of life. The pediatrician has diagnosed him with "Tough Guy" syndrome. Nick and I get so perplexed because he's so laidback and happy despite his symptoms -- so it's hard for us to tell if he needs to go in for a check up, but she assured us some baby boys are just little Tough Guys, they don't let their symptoms get in the way of playing and having a good time. Anyways, gotta go tuck in Tough Guy and give him another kiss. night bloggies.

Our little cupid

I can't describe or give words to the crazy insane love I'm feeling for my baby boy. So if you're reading this blog and you've been faithful since prego days, you're used to it and you like the taste of my sappy love vomit. Um, thanks. Don't know if I should hug you or get you some Pepto.

Do other moms look at their babies and think OHMYGOD I LOVE YOU! I silently scream it inside myself every time I look at him. His amazement at the piece of leaf that he has crunched into 5 mm of pure joy is so precious to me. I watch him inspecting his little leaf fleck and I cry.

His snicker really gets me. When he first thinks something is funny he gives this little snicker, then it becomes a little longer, like a slight chuckle, then it eventually turns into a guffaw and you might even get a snort if you've been really funny for him. That baby laugh is straight crack cocaine. Dancing in the kitchen while he's in high chair really sets him off. I love that he finds humor in so many things that I would consider big kid humor. He's always been this way too. He notices a slight raise of the eyebrow and purse of the lips as a smartass funny face. He also loves it when something drops and I react with a jump and squeal. Cracks him UP! He does have appreciation for various genres of dance too: ballet, tapping, clogging, ballroomesque twirling, cheerleading "bring it on" dance, and moonwalk all get good reception from this kid.

I'm so excited to see the ways he will make us laugh as he grows up. I LOVE kids, they crack me up so much, and now that I have a kid who already laughs with me, it amazes me. Who knew babies had a sense of humor? I didn't expect it. But I love it. It makes me love him so much. Little cupid. Gotta log off so I can stare at you sleeping and whisper all my hopes and dreams into your tiny ear.

Oh dear.

Siiiiiiggghhhhhh....."Oh dear" is slowly replacing "Oh my God", "Oh shit!", and other fun phrases around the house. Nick & I think it would be funny if Cade had this line in his reportoire. But still, we've just got "Mama" and "Dada" and sometimes "huG". To be honest, the kid is just more concerned with his physical milestones than his verbal skills. Kind of dangerous when your kid silently crawls into another room and opens up a cabinet and is playing with a bottle of Nyquil. Uh, guess we missed that cabinet on babyproofing day.

So the last week has been a bit of a rollercoaster. Last week he woke up with a 100.3 temperature and stayed at JAckFM in the evening when we checked it again. I took him in to the pediatrician, and came out with a diagnosis of RSV, double ear infections, and as he cried on the table during the RSV swab we noticed 2 top teeth poking out. (Tangent about teeth: They aren't his two middle top teeth, they're the secondsies...I have vampire baby. I guess this is okay with the New Moon/Twilight craze...hopefully he gets the two main teeth before the last movie is released!)

I enjoyed two days off with him and being Momma-who-makes-me-feel-better. I tried to teach him about sick couch, but he's too young to control the remote, I had to teach him about daytime time tv and dvr. Poor kid, he'll learn. So this week Lolli, Grammie, and Grandaddy each took a day watching him and today we went in for another check-up and he's all clear for daycare! Hooray!

Now fingers crossed that none of the other feral babies, I mean sweet angels, who go to school with Cade have sick germs tomorrow!