really?

Today I left my family chiropractor appt (lame or badass, you decide) and as Cade waved bye-bye to my mom and I got this kind of ashamed feeling. I don't even know that you would call it ashamed, but all of the sudden I felt all embarassed. I looked at her, and I thought "Really, mom? YOU let ME have a kid of my own?!"

I physically had to shake the thought off so I could buckle in Cade and drive home. But sometimes that happens to me, more so right after we brought him home from the hospital, but every now and then I question it all. It feels like I snuck into the motherhood club, the bouncer turned his back and I slipped under the velvet ropes. Not that I'm complaining, it's freaking fantastic--- but when will I stop looking over my shoulder? When I stop worrying that someone will figure out maybe I don't have all the necessary requirements and take Cade away from me?

Paranoia is unbecoming, so I won't harp too long. I guess sometimes I still feel like a sixth grader new to middle school. It was freaking yesterday I was arguing with my stupid jerkface science teacher about the difference between a white dwarf star and a red giant. Or don't I still need to get my advisor to approve my study abroad transfer credits? All of the sudden I'm a suburban housewife with a real live baby. hm. I just can't wrap my brain around it.

Maybe one day I'll get the confidence I want to rock it out as a mom. Until then, I'm the great pretender, just hanging out and loving every minute until I get that knock on the door that the jig is up.

Baby's First Snack Pack!

In the words of the great Billy Madison, "You know I like Snack Pack. Why can't you just give me a Snack Pack? WHERE's MY SNACK PACK?"

You KNOW my baby is gonna have THE official Snack Pack as his first chocolate pudding. In an effort to earn some extra momma lovin points, I whipped out the Snack Pack. We've been exposing Cade to his own spoon, just laying it out next to him. He makes attempts but has really done well this week. Momma feeds him the meat/veggie and he feeds himself something sweet (mostly fruit). I knew I'd get this skill in the bag AND get extra Cade kisses and hugs with a Snack Pack. Dirty tactic on Daddy night out? Maybe;) I'll let you judge from the pics.

Toy Boxes are Satan's gift to birthdays

This post is a big "wtf!" to toy manufacturers. I realized this weekend that toy boxes are the biggest pain in the ass nightmare to deal with. First off, they make it so the toddler toy is clearly touchable and testable in store. Problem #1: Whilst walking through Target you are forced to listen to the same creepy childlike voice sing "Come play with me!" as your toddler discovers the true fun of said toy. Problem #2: When the one year old gets the toy for his birthday he is able to play with it in box. Sounds fun. Until he REALLY wants to play with it. Out of the box.

Just trying to unwrap the toy is where the nightmare begins. You'd think, knowing the attention span and patience of a 12 month old, that Fisher Price would know that the toy removal from box process should take at MOST 60 seconds. Problem #3: It does not take 60 seconds. Once you are able to determine which part of the box you should open from, you get the toy halfway out to realize it has been affixed to (problem #4) a cardboard platform. WITH WIRE (#5). Being the good mom that you are, you take a deep breath and press the button to activate obnoxious singing toy so your child doesn't tantrum. You take a sip of your half glass full juice and say to yourself "Ah it's not so bad, it's just a few twist ties"....

You begin untwisting the first of five wires (#6) and you realize that the ties have not been twisted in any coherent pattern. In fact there seems to be an intricate system of twist clockwise, unthread, twist counterclockwise, unthread, and so on (#7). You give a little cheer when you get the wire undone. Your baby claps his hands and then you both realize there are four more wires to untangle before the toy is free from the platform (#8, #9, #10, #11). And you grab your scissors and knives and hack away at the rest of them. Score! The toy is finally free from it's cardboard hellhole. And then you realize that there's a protective wire and plastic casing around the figure's head (#12). While you cut away at this plastic, not giving 2 flips if the toy totally breaks. You hear a squeal of delight and realize that baby is playing with the cardboard/wire remnants. Oops, you free the toy and then grab away the tetanus shot waiting to happen and dispose of it in the garage and lock the door because your little one knows how to free anything from the trash/recycling.

You are breathing normally then you realize your baby is going for the mega scissors you used to free the toy. You yank the scissors out of his reach and shove the toy in his face. He cries and refuses to play with the toy that promised to be educational, fun, and get them into an Ivy League school with partial scholarship. Awesome.

You hand him some wire free cardboard, he's happy. You head to the fridge to get a cold one and relax....As soon as you open your can and sink into the couch you see he's grabbed another birthday toy and wants someone to open it. And thus the cycle begins again. Because you.are.super.mom.

Da Birthday Man!

Megablocks, balloons, and bears-- ohmy! This week was a whirlwind.... baby man's birthday and TAKS testing! All of my children were constantly on my mind and there were so many worries and prayers hoping his parties were perfect and their testing days went well. This week definitely tested my ability to balance both. Now that it's all over I'm realizing that there is room in my heart for all of my babies, despite the ten year age gap. (I'm also realizing Cade will not be happy in ten years when his birthday week falls on state assessments days. Whatev, it's character building. I have to share my birthday with Jesus. We all have our issues:)

We had a birthday party today at the house and one on Wednesday just us and the grandparents. On Wednesday we had taco dinner, it was so delicious and we had pomegranate blood orange sorbet for dessert! Cade LOVES sorbet and frozen yogurt, it was a great night, even if he had to stay up late to enjoy presents and sorbet:)

Today we had friends and extended family over. I'm lov-ing decorating with balloons. I adore balloons. They are so cheerful and colorful. I might always have to have balloons around, super cheap way to decorate too. I'm thinking I'm onto something here, tell InStyle Home to look into it. Anyways, he got some cool gifts, Auntie Kelly & Uncle Eric stole the show with the 3 in 1 CAT dump truck that he can build with MegaBlocks in the back, push it around the floor, and pull back the dump part to sit and ride on it! The toys were cool and everyone stuck to the unspoken rule that if the toy makes noise it better have an off button or a way to remove batteries. Thanks friends!!! You're the best!

Here are my favorite pics.

(Special thanks to Kroger for the badass cake they let me design. It was beautiful and such a deal and SOOO freaking moist and delicious. Extra kudos for making the buttercream icing look like fondant!)

The Stockyards

Time to do some catching up from Spring Break... I LOVED every minute. How awesome is it to get paid AND get time off with your baby? It was an awesome excuse to find little adventures to do with Cadester. So, Grammie, Grandaddy and I packed him up and headed West. To Fort Worth that is. First stop, shopping. Cade insisted on the red cowboy boots and hat, but since he just started walking the day before I figured it would be wise to save them for later on. Of course, now that he's running I wish he had the boots, but we'll survive...for now.

After a Cowboy fashion show, we tried to catch the cattle drive down the main street, but we missed it by minutes. Cade's trying to Saw 'em off, but I told him that's not being a good Texan.

So there was a petting zoo, and at first I was like "eww dirty" but Cade loved it. He was so into the animals and tried to pet them. This is random: I was totally amazed that he started trying to climb the fence. One wouldn't think that's an inherited trait, but where would he have learned that? Good for running from the cops at college parties though.

He spotted the Clydesdales pulling a carriage.

Um, Mommy? I thought you said we could some Joe T's now?

He was amazed by the bling of the belt buckles....

Sweet little man

Last night Cade spent the night at Grammie & Grandaddy's house, Dada enjoyed man time, and I went out with my BFF in Uptown and had a sleepover. I was sad to leave Cade for like a minute, then I hightailed it down for dinner at Mi Cocina (we spotted a reality tv VH1 star!) and some patio time on McKinney Ave. I did have bouts of insane missing him, to which I whipped out my cell and flipped through 187 pics of him. It was nice to sleep in a little and then pick him up after breakfast and just before his morning nap. Genius timing!

Our first nap was coordinated mommy-baby effort on the couch for 1.5 hr. Score! Second nap after lunch was 2 hours of pure bliss, cuddled up in our Lambie blanket. I awoke when the sleeping angel on my chest lifted his head, eyes still closed and sweet grin on his face and then he clapped his hands three times and then nuzzled back down into my neck. I died. It was officially the sweetest thing I've every witnessed in my life.

When we both woke up for good the second time he lifted his head, smiled and laughed and then sat straight up and clapped his hands. He slid off the couch and went straight for the toy bin, looking at me and waving, so I joined him for some floortime playtime. I've been working on teaching him "hug" and we played hug the duckie. He would hug his Easter duck, then give it to me for me to hug, then he would reach for it and he would give it a hug. This went on for a good 3 minutes of hug-switch-hug-switch.

Another favorite game is peekaboo. He will be in his playpen or standing in a doorway and peek his head up for us and then duck down or away again. He cracks up and cracks up. It's so funny. He also loves to hold up a blankie or toy and peekaboo around that too. A man in a restaurant the other morning played peekaboo around his newspaper with Cade and he giggled so much the 3 tables around us could not stop laughing too.

It makes me so proud that Cade is such a happy boy and can make people smile. The wonder of the baby man never ceases to amaze me, from the time he was a little alien creature in my belly to now.

Night bloggies, I'd better finish this wine and popcorn before he wakes up like a madman since I just jinxed the hell outta his good moods:)

Luck o' the Irish!

Baby's first St. Patty's Day!!! Being part Irish we had to rock out the green. en *

Thanks Grammie for the cool shirt! Which led to what I thought was a cool conversation in the shoe department at Macy's, shoe guy said "Hey man, cool shirt. Lucky Charms are the best" to which I replied "Yeah, they're magically delicious." And then, damn crickets and tumbleweeds rolled right past us. Awkward. To shoe guy's benefit, I guess there is a limit to Lucky Charms-isms. Anyways....

We did get some Easter pics with the bunnies at Northpark. No fake Easter bunny for this bebe, we're talking live critters. Cade was in the MOST presh outfit, a little royal blue and green plaid romper and sweet little white collared shirt underneath. It was exactly what I dreamt of last year when I rubbed my prego belly and put my name on their mailing list. (Minus the bunnies eating the decorative flowers and the wooden eggs that Cade decided to throw on the set and make boom noises...AND minus the egg that was 1 inch away from giving the bunny a concussion, but whatev, it was good times) It was pretty much what every mom dreams of, a big crowd of people gooing and gahing over your spawn's adorableness. Being a total ego-mama when it comes to compliments on my baby I LOVED it. And Grammie did too, so I'm not the only psycho who gets off on that. Pics to come.

We came home and ate Shepherd's Pie and sang Irish tunes.

Nevermind. I popped in Tyson's chicken, had Tylenol PM and called it a night. Nick watched the Departed and Gangs of New York to celebrate his heritage. Yay for Daddy! Here are pics from the day.

Dallas Blooms 2010

Could there be a more favorite activity I do with Cade than go to the Arboreteum?! I adore seeing him explore the flowers and taking pictures of him. It was the most relaxing day to stroll around with my baby in his little red wagon. My words aren't enough today, I'll let the pics do the talking.

Okay, would it be a blog if I didn't vent?

Quickly:

1. It was 50-60 degrees today. I saw maybe 50 1-3 year olds in sundresses, shorts, and sandals. Um wtf, Texans?? I'm going to have to mention that you might want to save SOMETHING for the 100+ temps later this summer, and I'm going to recommend you go to the dr for ear infection/cold that you just gave your baby because you wanted sexy warm clothing Easter pics.

2. Hey, little 4 year old twerp. You know how you asked my 11 month old if you could have his green egg? He can't talk, that doesn't mean your answer is yes. AND no, giving him the piece of bark (or dried poop) is NOT an acceptable consolation prize. I'm telling Santa.

3. Yes, I'm going to have to take 20 shots of each pose of my baby. He moves a lot and I like pictures. Get over it.

Spring Break Day #1 = success!

Baby Crack

I caught myself using another teacher trick/behavior modification technique. Okay, first I discovered Baby Cocaine. Usually when I put Cade in his high chair he first gets a little toy, book, or Gerber snack. Tonight the Gerber snack was closest item, so I grabbed the canister and ripped it open, eager to see how well Cinnamon Maple Crunchies would go over. Silly Mommy wondered how cute his face would be when he realized it wasn't the usual Zesty Tomato flavor and instead is more of a Sonic french toast dippers flavor. Silly Mommy thought it was cute the first 4 times he clapped his hands vigorously together, baby signing request for "MORE!!!"

When his chicken and brown rice/green bean jars were heated up (sorry man, you can't sample my potato skins dinner tonight!) I brought them over the table. He took 2 bites, pointed to the Crunchies can and then signed "more". Wow, awesome distal point + request combo! And that's when I, of course, honored his communication attempts and gave him 2 crunchies.

Cuteness end. Cue demon crack-addict baby, enter stage left.

Cade cried and cried and batted away the spoons of meat and spoons of veggies. Chicken puree was in his hair, green beans were crusted on his face. He kept requesting cinnamon Crunchies and would NOT end the tantrum until one ended up his hand. My situation was dire. The kid was like a crack addict pheening for next hit and I was the dealer who was withholding the goods. Whenever I'm confronted by wild behavior at school and I pause, take a deep breath and consider my options. Leaving him alone with the can of Crunchies while I took a hot shower didn't seem like the choice that would earn me diamonds this Mothers Day (always gotta think ahead, sistas!) so I resorted to good ol' Premack Principle. First/Then.

First, spoon of baby food. Then, a crunchie. After one try of this I realized I'd run out of crunchies and rocket Cade's weight to the 2nd %ile if I kept that up. So I broke the Crunchies in half and did First spoon of food, Then Crunchie bite. That little baby was like putty in my hands. Before I knew it, he was eating 8 spoons of food before earning one little Crunchie bite. SUCCESS!!!! My college education paid off! He finished his food, we developed a bond in a stressful situation, and he realized an important life lesson...if you want your baby crack, you gotta pay the dealer's price.

Girl jeans.

Today I was super stoked to put Cade in some cool new jeans I got him. They were size 12 mo, but I got over it when I saw them on the Dillard's sale rack next to the cool 80's style guitar shirt I got him. So these jeans are dark denim, got some cool bright blue threading detail, and awesome detailed pockets, AND they're baby DKNY. I was like "score! baby's first pair of designer jeans, and only $7.99!"

So he went to school rocking the jeans and a Mr. Potato Head shirt, vintage-style AND his cool new Stride Rite shoes. I almost teared up when I told Nick he was wearing his first zip-up pants. My mother-in-law went to visit him for lunch. He had a great day. It was the first day he actually made it through the school day in the same outfit he started out in. (He's a frequent "explosive diaper" kid at daycare....even though they change him every hour. go figure that one out)

I was so excited that he made it through the whole day in his cool outfit. I gushed and gushed to the daycare ladies about how cute his jeans were, and they were a little long but he had them cuffed which is in style and so preppy looking. Then I looked down at him and noticed his fly was undone. Then I noticed the zipper fabric was red. Upon closer inspection I realized it wasn't red but hot pink. wtf?

The whole way home I was rationalizing this to myself. That really makes me mad they used a bright color on the fly. Then I thought Well that's actually pretty fashion forward detailing. Kind of metro of them to put hot pink on a boy's zipper. Way to not be gender-specific Donna Karen. By the time I got home the denial cloud had dissipated and I realized what had seriously happened.

I bought, and sent my kid to daycare in, girl jeans. The bright blue threading detail? Actually could be called "teal". The straight leg style? Actually a girl "fitted". Damn..... I have a cross-dressing baby. Way to drag him out at only 11 months old. So I'll tuck them away. And hope the next baby is a girl.