On my mind

Just as I sit here watching my littles interact I love the way Devyn grabs Cade's fork and hands it to him. The way she looks at him for confirmation is so sweet. She loves him and adores him so much. Always has from the minute she first saw him. He isn't always sure how to respond to her. I'm learning that it's my job to show him  how to respond to her. To be patient and loving and her teacher.

Right now he is sitting at the toddler table that my parents bought him from Pottery Barn Kids a couple of years ago. It's been the best piece of furniture in the house the last few weeks because now Devyn can sit at it with him. To watch them eating breakfast together and fall in love with Mickey Mouse together has made me seriously tear up on a daily basis. (not really, but it's so freaking sweet!)

Just now as I type this lovefest, Cade gives Devyn a totally exasperated look and says, "No Desyn! I don't want that right now." And then he stands up and curls his body away from her. He catches my eye and says, "I don't like her. I want to get another baby!" Um...wth son? Not cool. Not the sweet big brother I was just getting ready to literally blog about.  I guess he's allowed to be moody. He is 3.

Random memories from yesterday:

Yesterday (my story):   Devyn has been tossing bits of her food to our dog Izzy. She does this on the sly. She literally casually extends one arm down and drops one little piece at a time. This kid LOVES dogs. She even crawled up to a baby gate box in Babies R Us the other day and kissed the picture of the dog on it! Anyways, she feeds the dog. Sometimes I catch her. Yesterday she finished her dinner and Cade hadn't touched his. So I told her "Oh good job, Devyn! You ate your dinner! Uh oh, Cade. You haven't eaten your quesadilla yet. No dessert if you don't finish your dinner."  He said, "I WILL eat my dinner! Izzy ate all of Desyn's dinner, I eat all of MY dinner!"  It was so funny for him to totally sell out Devyn that way with his little lisp on the V on her name. I laughed so hard, Devyn started to laugh too. 

Yesterday  (Nick's story): Our disposal has been crap this week. Nick and I divided and conquered the kids so I could run my errand with Devyn and he could use Cade as his little Home Deport helper.  So he needed an extra hand to push down on the new sink part while he was underneath screwing in the disposal. He improvised and put Cade standing in the sink and made him promise to be safe and hold on tight. So Nick goes under the sink and tells Cade hold on tight. And he hears Cade grunt. He finishes up and stands up to see Cade making two fists and closing his eyes tight and grunting. Such a serious little helper!

Last night (our story): I was putting Cade back in bed after his typical second trip to the bathroom after being put in bed. (I guess he is taking the business of keeping his underpants dry at night very seriously.) And he requests a song. So I ask him if he wants "Twinkle Twinkle". No. "How about the firetruck song?" No. He wants a robot song. I frequently have to totally improvise songs for him based on his interest of the day. I start to sing and he says, "No, no, no. The one we sang in car with Daddy. Like this one." And he starts to do the robot hands dance. "Mr. Roboto?" I ask. "Yes! Mr. Oboto!" Um... who knows any actual words to that song besides "Mr. Roboto"? So I start singing, "Oh my god-toe, Mis-ter Ro-bo-to do you know that I love you? Oh my god-toe, Mis-ter Ro-bo-to this I know is true. I have a but-ton turn me on. This is Cade's ro-bot song. And that I love you." (There was more, but I'll spare you. Take in mind I did this in a roboty voice with the necessary dance moves.) I must have sold it, because he was totally pleased. Then I kissed him goodnight and did the walk of shame to Nick on the couch. I confessed that my lullaby was uber-lame and he was like, "Lets see what those words are." He dutifully logged onto iTunes and we practiced a little bit. It really is more of a duet. So we practiced a little. All I can remember now is that I want to be the back-up voice who sings "I've got a secret". And I'll let Nick take the robot-y man lead and I'll just pop out behind his back with my "I've got a secret" refrain and do some robot arms.

Got to go rescue the little climbing lady. She's stuck on our fireplace hearth thing. Thrown all the toys out of her toy box and is holding onto a Darth Vadar (sucking his head) and crying at me to rescue her. Laters bloggies.

2 a.m.

My favorite time of the day is now smack in the middle of the night. We have SORT OF gotten a "sleep schedule" so now I can SORT OF predict the favorite time.

Side note: notice how it only took EIGHT DAMN WEEKS to establish something resembling a normal life? Notice how reluctant I was back there in the intro paragraph to use absolutes lest I jinx my "sort of schedule". You see, infants love you to fly by the seat of your pants. Hand over the keys, Momma, Baby is driving! Cross your fingers and hold your breath... I want this to stick. Um, okay, unless said infant decides to STTN, then that can stick. (what the F is "STTN", you ask? It's the holy grail, motha! Sleep Through The Night. Defined as 6-7 consecutive hours of sleepage for the Momma. Holy grail, lovers!)

Back to the topic at hand....2 a.m. is my fave time. I've just gotten five hours of consecutive sleep and so when Devyn cries, my aching chest longing to be relieved I am more than happy to cuddle her and nurse her in the most fab rocker glider of all time. A. It's pink B. It reclines. Your rocker can go suck it. So I nurse her, check Pinterest, play Words with Friends...it's bliss. I dream of her future and I get so excited for all the little things. Her first dance class. Putting her hair into pigtails the first time.

Seeing her sweet sleepy face all milk drunk I get super high on love. It's unreal. Her face is just so precious and it takes me back to my time when Cade was an infant and I'm in heaven. I gently kiss her head, say another prayer for her, and lay her back down in her bed. then I tiptoe into Cade's Room and see him sleeping soundly, occasionally talking or whimpering in his sleep. My God, how can I possibly love these two so much? I whisper affirmations in his ear, smell his hair (I'm creepy like that), and kiss his forehead. I go back into Devyn's room, kiss her again, and then tiptoe back down the hall. Praying to any God that will listen that they sleep 3 more hours. As I crawl in bed I lean over and kiss Nick and tell him I love him. Hell, I even grab the dog and cuddle her tight to my chest and tell her I love her too. Everyone in the house is perfect at 2 a.m. I always hope Nick will wake up so we can talk about all the ways I love the kids (never gets old, I adore being able to say "the kids"). He never wakes up enough. He mutters something that sounds close enough to "love you" that I curl up in the duvet and fall asleep.

I don't know what I did to deserve this life, but I'm loving it. Absolutely nothing goes unappreciated these days. Living full of gratitude is the light.

Rock-a-Bye

The clock says it's 1:48am. I hear the soft "click, click" and I feel perfect peace. In the soft light of my rock lamp I can't help but smile as my little bundle snuggles in my arms post feeding. Occasionally making little kitten noises as she stretches and snuggles back into the sweet spot at the crook of my arm. Heaven! I love it when a little dreamy giggle escapes her lips. Oh I would pay so much money to get a glimpse of her little newborn dreams. What makes her smile in her sleep? I am dying to know.

Part of me is distracted by the wonders of my late night Googling. Most of me is consumed in the perfect cuddle with my daughter. I am a recovering addict of the newborn cuddle. I had almost grown past this insatiable desire as Cade got to be an active wiggly toddler. Now I can't pick what I love more. Snuggling I'm. His twin bed. Hearing him say "'mon on, mommy" and pat is bed for me to "come on, lay down". Then reading him a story and having his little arm pull my neck in close to his and feel the pressure of our warm bodies, and hear our hearts beating together. ...ll. Or do I love this? Holding her close to me, milk drunk, smelling her downy peach fuzz head and kissing it all over without her waking up. Feeling so lucky when she curls her fingers around my pinkie. Now I'm getting my fix from two powerful drugs: son and daughter. Toddler and newborn.

I just came across a beautiful poem. An ode to a mother's rocking chair. Sounds silly, but it's beautiful. And perfect. And everything my life is right this moment. Thank you to Leslie, from aroomsomewhere.com for sharing this!

"Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.


Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peek-a-boo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo,
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).


The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep."

i'm hongry!!! and a lullaby request.

I woke up at 3am starving this morning, and the hunger hasn't waned since. My morning snackfest started at 10:00am and consisted of 3 bottles of water, a bag of mini-muffins, Chex Mix (traditionale flavores por favor!), and a clementine. 10 minutes after the last snack I ate my lunch: chicken pot pie, applesauce, chocolate swirl Snack Pack, and more Chex Mix. So much for only needing an additional 300 calories a day!


And now, for my lullaby request. I am taking suggestions of lullabies that I will compile into a mix CD for Cade. And yes, this will be on a playlist so I can practice singing to myself via ipod. This most genius idea struck me today as I had my sixth snack of the day watching Ellen. Bette Midler, one of those idols I sometimes forget to worship, was on today. She had a pink bling ukelele and sang Glory of Love. What a great song! I so imagine I could rock a ukelele.

So your mission is to send me (via comment to this blog) your recommendations for my lullaby mix tape for my Cade. These can be songs your parents sang to you, songs you sing to your child, or songs that you think would make me look cool in the eyes of my newborn.


Anyways, the lyrics of that Bette song are so sweet, I've posted them below for your singing pleasure. (And as I type I sing, and as I sing my dog stands on my shoulder....)

You've got to give a little, take a little,
And let your poor heart break a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

You've got to laugh a little, cry a little,
Until the clouds roll by a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

As long as there's the two of us,
We've got the world and all its charms.
And when the world is through with us,
We've got each other's arms.

You've got to win a little, lose a little,
Yes, and always have the blues a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

Lullabies

Let me just lay it out there. I'm a pregnant girl with only 5 more months to go, and I'm stressing. While labor freaks me out, I'm actually concerned about bringing the kid home. I want to be the sweet, nurturing little mama who can sing endless lullabies to her baby.

So, being the good Capricorn I am, I decided to start practicing in the shower. I kept starting lullabies and stopping after like 2 verses b/c I can't remember the words. I can even hum some tunes, but then I realize I have no clue what the first word even is. For example, "hush little baby don't you cry, mama's gonna... sing you a... lullaby?.....um"
I can recite nursery rhymes all day long, but this lullaby business has me stumped.

I decide that I don't really need to know traditional lullabies, maybe some cool classic songs would work. And I came up with two. Two songs that I know ALL the words to. And these 2 songs are: The Star Spangled Banner and Ice, Ice, Baby. I tried putting Vanilla's lyrics to a sweeter tune, but then I realize "wax a chump like a candle, dance" just can't be removed from the original beats. Gotta respect the artist, you know? And,I want a patriotic kid as much as the next Joe, but talking about bombs (aka "rockets red glare") isn't entirely appropriate for someone whose age is measured in months, not even years yet.

Guess I should worry about calcium allotments and prenatal yoga instead.