I can't believe it's almost my due date, April 1st! Every little change in my mood or twinge in my body sets me off a rollercoaster or worry or excitement. It's like I'm reliving the days when we were trying to get pregnant, that "Am I?" feeling all over again, only this time it's more "Is he coming?" [pause for Braxton Hicks contraction]
The nursery is ready to go! I just need to go buy a baby swing and a little tummy-time gym mat, the 2 toys that Cade needs because he'll be able to play with them right away. Also on the checklist is to clean bottles and clear out a cabinet in the kitchen for baby gear. I was a good girl and had a wild Saturday night of washing baby clothes and blankets and booties in Dreft. I think that's the last time laundry will ever be so fun and cute. Every little baby sock I folded I had to comment on in obnoxious baby voice "Aw, it's just a widdle sockie for da babyyyyy!!" while listening to the lullaby cd and trying to memorize lyrics to Hush Little Baby. (yep, still not sure what comes after the diamond ring part)
I'm feeling really happy and excited, just praying that Cade is healthy and makes it 10 more days to fully grow and develop before he comes. I was a 10 month baby (pretty normal for my family's side I guess) so I hope Cade hangs out a little longer. I need a few more days to check things off my baby and work to-do lists... thanks for your prayers and good thoughts!
love,
Hilary
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
2 weeks until D-day!
With only 14 days to go until Due Date, I've had some more crazy prego urges. I'm not feeling shameful AT ALL so, I'll share. I'll color code the urges so you know which ones I've acted upon. Green = yes, I did it.
Yellow = I acted upon a compromised version of the urge
Red = no, not yet at least
1. When a stranger asks when I'm due I feel the urge to act pissed and say "Wtf? Are you saying I'm fat??!" I have actually said "How can you tell?" But then I felt like a bitchy geek. Not clever.
2. I've been catching other women staring at me, sizing up my belly and ass and probably doing the mental math in their head to guess how far along I am. Unless you're also pregnant, this is unacceptable. The urge would be to backhand them and yell "take a picture it lasts longer!"
3. While waiting for a table at a restaurant or in a long line at the store I feel like people should let me cut to the front of the line. I know, that's border line milking it too much... So I stand with my belly out and hands on my lower back (the mental picture is absurd, I know) But I haven't actually ASKED anyone to let me cut, so I'm not totally psycho, right?
4. Shamelessly chatting about pregnancy and babies. Pre-pregnancy I absolutely loathed any conversation about the pregnant body or babies. (unless someone accidentally got knocked up, that's good juice no matter when) But now, whether you're a stranger or well meaning friend asking me "How do I feel?" I will start off cool, just say "Good, thanks" But if you dare ask me another question or probe further, be prepared for me to unleash whatever is on my pregnant mind. I absolutely can't control myself. The embarassing part is that I understand it's uncool to blab on and on and on, but if you're acting interested, I am MORE than happy to share any details of my current state from sappy to sordid. If I actually got a penny for my thoughts I'd be loaded.
5. People should be gentle with pregnant women. I don't think it's worth the risk to roll your eyes, act superior, or otherwise engage in rude behavior when the person you are talking to is 9 months pregnant. Seriously? Why would you mess with me? Is it not clear I'm carrying the miracle of life? Alright then, don't cut in front of me when I'm walking by in the store. Allow the larger vehicle to pass, right? Again, I've wanted to yell "SERIOUSLY?!!" Instead, I sigh and roll my eyes at your back. (this makes be a big person. I know)
Yellow = I acted upon a compromised version of the urge
Red = no, not yet at least
1. When a stranger asks when I'm due I feel the urge to act pissed and say "Wtf? Are you saying I'm fat??!" I have actually said "How can you tell?" But then I felt like a bitchy geek. Not clever.
2. I've been catching other women staring at me, sizing up my belly and ass and probably doing the mental math in their head to guess how far along I am. Unless you're also pregnant, this is unacceptable. The urge would be to backhand them and yell "take a picture it lasts longer!"
3. While waiting for a table at a restaurant or in a long line at the store I feel like people should let me cut to the front of the line. I know, that's border line milking it too much... So I stand with my belly out and hands on my lower back (the mental picture is absurd, I know) But I haven't actually ASKED anyone to let me cut, so I'm not totally psycho, right?
4. Shamelessly chatting about pregnancy and babies. Pre-pregnancy I absolutely loathed any conversation about the pregnant body or babies. (unless someone accidentally got knocked up, that's good juice no matter when) But now, whether you're a stranger or well meaning friend asking me "How do I feel?" I will start off cool, just say "Good, thanks" But if you dare ask me another question or probe further, be prepared for me to unleash whatever is on my pregnant mind. I absolutely can't control myself. The embarassing part is that I understand it's uncool to blab on and on and on, but if you're acting interested, I am MORE than happy to share any details of my current state from sappy to sordid. If I actually got a penny for my thoughts I'd be loaded.
5. People should be gentle with pregnant women. I don't think it's worth the risk to roll your eyes, act superior, or otherwise engage in rude behavior when the person you are talking to is 9 months pregnant. Seriously? Why would you mess with me? Is it not clear I'm carrying the miracle of life? Alright then, don't cut in front of me when I'm walking by in the store. Allow the larger vehicle to pass, right? Again, I've wanted to yell "SERIOUSLY?!!" Instead, I sigh and roll my eyes at your back. (this makes be a big person. I know)
Saturday, March 7, 2009
expiration dates...
So, I've had this thing since I saw the two lines telling me I'm pregnant. It's an obsession with expiration dates. One of my former students' mom confessed she also had a similar obsession, so I figured it wasn't too strange to blog about.
Ever since becoming pregnant and getting that April 1st 2009 due date, I've paid much more attention to expiration dates than I used to. At first I thought it was responsible mommy instinct kicking in, not wanting to poison my unborn child with food that's past due. (You'd think most people are just this responsible enough without the excuse of protecting a fetus, but then again I'm the girl who thought 4 day old pizza was safe and ended up in ER with e coli)
I've been getting my thrills lately from finding food products with expiration dates that occur after Cade's due date. I dub my life in 2 categories now: B.C. (Before Cade) and A.C. (After Cade). That's not too blasphemous to get kicked by karma, right? Anyways, each time I find a new expiration date that is A.C., I get so excited. It was pretty exhilarating to find my first RERIGERATED food product that was going to be good even when Cade is here. Green olives. Yes!! Cade could eat these! (Not that we'll be past a liquid diet in June...)
I know when the milk's expiration date is A.C. it will be the ultimate satisfaction. I'll be so close to meeting and holding my son! That milk will be some of the most special milk ever. I might just have to save the empty carton for Cade's memory box. I'll let you know when that day comes. Until then, I'm 24 days and counting!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
happy girl
I'm a happy girl today. I took the day off so I could catch up on sleep. The last couple of weeks I've been struggling to make it through a night ---sometimes discomfort and sometimes just staying awake thinking about things. I slept so good last night, woke up ready to go and just enjoy the day!
The weather is GORGEOUS! Stunning and so inspiring. I'm so excited to have a spring baby and hang out with Cade. He's going to be my best friend. I can't wait! Well, seriously, I can wait...hoping to make it just past that April 1st date.
Things that make a great day off:
1. sleeping well
2. hot fresh bagels
3. 80 degree weather & open windows
4. a DVR full of my favorite shows
5. a great night of tv lined up
6. leftover baby shower cake!
The weather is GORGEOUS! Stunning and so inspiring. I'm so excited to have a spring baby and hang out with Cade. He's going to be my best friend. I can't wait! Well, seriously, I can wait...hoping to make it just past that April 1st date.
Things that make a great day off:
1. sleeping well
2. hot fresh bagels
3. 80 degree weather & open windows
4. a DVR full of my favorite shows
5. a great night of tv lined up
6. leftover baby shower cake!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
random...
I've got nothing big to rant/gush about. So, here is a glimpse to what happens in the mind of pregnant girl with crazy horomones, and just plain crazy to begin with.
1. I saw a calendar today. I calculated my last day of work before maternity leave. After this week I only have to work 3 weeks. Basically, after Spring Break I have one last week, then baby! I got really excited and then sad about missing my students. Man, I love those kids. Gotta try to have my own though. Gotta leave my babies and have my baby. I can't imagine it.
2. My body is ridiculous. My stomach looks like there's a basketball in there. If I were brave I would post a bikini pic (or just plain put on a bikini) just so you could see how insane I look. It's just so round. I don't get it. Every now and then a little foot or elbow pushes out my belly button to its maximum. Talk about crazy, but I'm fascinated with it. What's up with Mother Nature? The miracle of life truly is a miracle that a new life starts inside an existing one. I just can't figure out if I'm more amazed or amused by this whole process.
3. I want to just hold my stomach like a baby when I sit down. I know my stomach is my baby, but bear with me on this one. I feel like he's curled up on my lap and I feel compelled to pick up my stomach and cradle him. I did this for like 10 seconds in the staff meeting today before I realized I should probably stop because I almost started rocking my belly baby and singing to it. (try being pregnant, you will prob feel the same stupid urges)
4. Men should have to write thank you notes for baby gifts too. Grrr.
5. I'm not cool with swollen fingers. Not being able to wear my wedding rings on my proper finger...Lets just say I've learned the hard way not to put the diamonds on your pinky finger, then pull weeds in the background and throw them over the fence. Turns out your engagement ring will fly off the pinky and you'll find yourself, pregnant, on all fours, crawling around the alley examining leaves and weeds one by one looking for your ring. What a moron...
1. I saw a calendar today. I calculated my last day of work before maternity leave. After this week I only have to work 3 weeks. Basically, after Spring Break I have one last week, then baby! I got really excited and then sad about missing my students. Man, I love those kids. Gotta try to have my own though. Gotta leave my babies and have my baby. I can't imagine it.
2. My body is ridiculous. My stomach looks like there's a basketball in there. If I were brave I would post a bikini pic (or just plain put on a bikini) just so you could see how insane I look. It's just so round. I don't get it. Every now and then a little foot or elbow pushes out my belly button to its maximum. Talk about crazy, but I'm fascinated with it. What's up with Mother Nature? The miracle of life truly is a miracle that a new life starts inside an existing one. I just can't figure out if I'm more amazed or amused by this whole process.
3. I want to just hold my stomach like a baby when I sit down. I know my stomach is my baby, but bear with me on this one. I feel like he's curled up on my lap and I feel compelled to pick up my stomach and cradle him. I did this for like 10 seconds in the staff meeting today before I realized I should probably stop because I almost started rocking my belly baby and singing to it. (try being pregnant, you will prob feel the same stupid urges)
4. Men should have to write thank you notes for baby gifts too. Grrr.
5. I'm not cool with swollen fingers. Not being able to wear my wedding rings on my proper finger...Lets just say I've learned the hard way not to put the diamonds on your pinky finger, then pull weeds in the background and throw them over the fence. Turns out your engagement ring will fly off the pinky and you'll find yourself, pregnant, on all fours, crawling around the alley examining leaves and weeds one by one looking for your ring. What a moron...
Friday, February 20, 2009
blessed
Our last dance at our wedding was Elton John's "Blessed". We chose it as a wish for ourselves and our future. I can't believe how lucky and loved we are. Today we had another baby shower at Nick's office. Everyone was so fun, generous, and supportive. It's amazing how loved you feel at a baby shower. This little person is coming into the world, nobody has met him, but he's so loved. Although I hadn't met some of the people there, I teared up when Nick was thanking his coworkers. I felt so much pride that he's made such an impact on the people he's worked with the last seven years. Apparently I picked a good one when I married this man!
It really makes me think of Pay it Forward and how I can go out and help someone else because so many people have been helping us out. I don't forget the kindness of others or take it for granted for one second, I just know that my turn will come when I can pay back the universe for this kindness.
In the meantime I am going into nest-mode this weekend. I'm going to surrender to the mighty call of Dreft and wash some baby sheets and towels and clothes... I'm going to try to pack a hospital bag, just in case... I'm going to get ready for this little man the world is so eager to meet! The next month is going to be a whirlwind, and I want to enjoy every minute. Enough of the gushing... night kids.
It really makes me think of Pay it Forward and how I can go out and help someone else because so many people have been helping us out. I don't forget the kindness of others or take it for granted for one second, I just know that my turn will come when I can pay back the universe for this kindness.
In the meantime I am going into nest-mode this weekend. I'm going to surrender to the mighty call of Dreft and wash some baby sheets and towels and clothes... I'm going to try to pack a hospital bag, just in case... I'm going to get ready for this little man the world is so eager to meet! The next month is going to be a whirlwind, and I want to enjoy every minute. Enough of the gushing... night kids.
Friday, February 13, 2009
the sisterhood
I realized this week, although the clues have been in my face the bigger my belly gets, that I'm about to be inducted into the largest sorority on the planet. The sisterhood of mothers. I figured people were just nicer/more friendly to me because they felt sorry for the little pregnant lady. (Side note: I have felt EXTREMELY guilty for not being so nice, in fact, for being grossed out by pregnant people in the past) This week I realize that most of the people who've been so helpful and supportive are Sisters, who've officially pushed their way or C-sected their way into the largest sorority in the world.
They're trying so hard to teach me all of the things I need to know. I used to be put off by people's pregnancy and labor stories. Figured all that was "bathroom talk" and had no business in public. But what's struck me as appealing is the fact that these Sisters have NO filter on the type of advice/stories they suddenly feel compelled to share with me. As someone who constantly grosses out friends with my lack of filter, I find I fit right in. Breast leakage, sure! Tell me more. Oh, and the random items I've been told to stock up on. I don't know if I'm having a baby or planning on stocking up for a run through minefields.
Anyways, thanks to the Sisters out there for your stories and tips.
They're trying so hard to teach me all of the things I need to know. I used to be put off by people's pregnancy and labor stories. Figured all that was "bathroom talk" and had no business in public. But what's struck me as appealing is the fact that these Sisters have NO filter on the type of advice/stories they suddenly feel compelled to share with me. As someone who constantly grosses out friends with my lack of filter, I find I fit right in. Breast leakage, sure! Tell me more. Oh, and the random items I've been told to stock up on. I don't know if I'm having a baby or planning on stocking up for a run through minefields.
Anyways, thanks to the Sisters out there for your stories and tips.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Horoscope
Today's horoscope:
Capricorn
Push now and you'll pop right through. The Force is with you. It won't be as much so tomorrow, so do not hesitate.
I've let Nick know that his cell is to be on his person at all times today. I am strangely calm being that "The Force" is with me.... howevs, I'd prefer the baby to cook a little longer.
Capricorn
Push now and you'll pop right through. The Force is with you. It won't be as much so tomorrow, so do not hesitate.
I've let Nick know that his cell is to be on his person at all times today. I am strangely calm being that "The Force" is with me.... howevs, I'd prefer the baby to cook a little longer.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
oh the temptation...
The temptation to be a huge bitch while pregnant is too irrestible this week. Coworkers and boss beware, strangers in the grocery store-- watch out... it has been all I can do to reign in the urge to go CRAZY on everyone.
Urges I have successfully controlled in the past 24 hours:
1. Responding to every statement at work with "f--- off"
2. Throwing all books in my classrooom onto the floor in a fit of rage
3. Typing up a Jerry Maguire-style memo telling everyone just what is wrong with the way things work and how things should be done my way
4. Responding to every statement at work with "That's the worst idea I've ever heard"
5. Rear-ending the car in front of me because I just don't care about the red lights anymore... really. don't care.
6. Starting a never-ending bitch session, and refusing to let others bitch with me, but monopolize twenty minutes of just me straight out venting.
Bits of crazy I just can't help but unleash:
1. Helping myself to a big piece of cake with the only knife available and then throwing away the knife without asking anyone else if they want cake.
2. Pushing my grocery cart with my baby belly AND talking on the cell phone AND making other people get out of my way b/c I'm pretending to be oblivious
3. Going into someone else's supplies w/o asking to get myself knife in #1 (don't get in the way of a prego and her lunch/chocolate fix)
4. Letting out a big dramatic sigh a few times a day (without explaining why or acknowledging others' confused stares)
I'm pretty proud of not going totally psycho... I acknowledge that I'm not the most objective judge of my personal behavior. Overall, I'm exhausted, I'm HUGE, and I'm over the unneccessary drama of other people's emotions/dumb opinions. Over it! My new mission is to enjoy my last weeks of being single and selfish. Sorry work & responsibilities--- this is my final fling to enjoy the selfish life before my focus switches to my little man. Dinner with girlfriends, indulgent movies and popcorn, pedicures, and beauty treatments are my current priority.
Consider yourselves warned!
Urges I have successfully controlled in the past 24 hours:
1. Responding to every statement at work with "f--- off"
2. Throwing all books in my classrooom onto the floor in a fit of rage
3. Typing up a Jerry Maguire-style memo telling everyone just what is wrong with the way things work and how things should be done my way
4. Responding to every statement at work with "That's the worst idea I've ever heard"
5. Rear-ending the car in front of me because I just don't care about the red lights anymore... really. don't care.
6. Starting a never-ending bitch session, and refusing to let others bitch with me, but monopolize twenty minutes of just me straight out venting.
Bits of crazy I just can't help but unleash:
1. Helping myself to a big piece of cake with the only knife available and then throwing away the knife without asking anyone else if they want cake.
2. Pushing my grocery cart with my baby belly AND talking on the cell phone AND making other people get out of my way b/c I'm pretending to be oblivious
3. Going into someone else's supplies w/o asking to get myself knife in #1 (don't get in the way of a prego and her lunch/chocolate fix)
4. Letting out a big dramatic sigh a few times a day (without explaining why or acknowledging others' confused stares)
I'm pretty proud of not going totally psycho... I acknowledge that I'm not the most objective judge of my personal behavior. Overall, I'm exhausted, I'm HUGE, and I'm over the unneccessary drama of other people's emotions/dumb opinions. Over it! My new mission is to enjoy my last weeks of being single and selfish. Sorry work & responsibilities--- this is my final fling to enjoy the selfish life before my focus switches to my little man. Dinner with girlfriends, indulgent movies and popcorn, pedicures, and beauty treatments are my current priority.
Consider yourselves warned!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
