Little Buggy

My little buggy, my little love bug, my widdle man! I can't believe you are turning 2. I sit here crying just thinking about how I'm going to stop my heart from bursting (and trying to figure out how to balance a laptop around prego belly with kicks). If I'm having a hard time accepting that you are TWO, imagine the train wreck I will be when you go to kindergarten or off to college. I'm sorry sweetie, I thought I'd be the cool mom. I was just having a hard time thinking that soon you won't need me anymore. Which is silly, because only I understand your words, what you want, and only I look forward to diaper changes. Even the stinky ones where you say "poo poo" and hold your nose and say "yuck!". Gotta love it when we're on the same page. When I first laid eyes on you I couldn't say anything else besides "He's so beautiful. He's perfect" and Oh God, how you've lived those words every day of your life. I'm certain that no other mom just gets her breath taken away by her little man as much as I do when I look at you. Whenever I've had a dark moment, and there have been several since you've been born, you've lifted up this family and carried us through. As much as I hurt and regret at my Boppy and Uncle Steff not getting to see how amazingly perfect you are, I know that you have bits of their fun, smart, loving personalities in you and that makes you so special to me. Yesterday at daycare my heart broke when I could see you were sick and you burst into tears when you saw me. I loved it just a little because I am the same when I see the person who has come to take care of me when I don't feel well. All this talk about you growing up and you still need me! Amazing, and I love it! Tonight you fell asleep on my as I sang our song and it was so perfect. That's what I've been afraid was lost forever and tonight I got it back for a little bit. (um, thanks fever/viral infection!) I could rock you in my arms forever. I love you little boy, more than I can ever describe. Happy last day of being 1 year old! love, Mommy